A Broken Wing
by redheadturkey
Summary: Tom has many tragedies occur and meets a woman who helps him through them.


0 A Broken Wing

by DianaQ

Allright, here come all your standard disclaimers. Paramount owns all the Star trek characters in this story. I appreciate being able to play around with their creations. I, however, own myself(I am majorly Mary Sueing here, but I'm having too much fun to stop myself). You may post it or archive it anywhere you like so long As DianaQ(Aka Diane Smith)gets credit for authorship of this hurt/comfort effort. It may not be sold for profit lest all of the angry Ferengi working at Paramount crush my breasts and genetalia. I created a new character for all you C/P lovers out there. She is quite a woman.;) I also have a few snippets of Harry and Seven. Resistance IS futile. Oh, and I'd like to give credit to the composers of the following songs: the red strokes, how do I live, it's your love, a broken wing, and one boy,onegirl. This story does contain material of an adult nature, so if you are under eighteen or have a weak heart, read no further. 

(Voy) P/T, Q/f, P/f, K/S, C/f

It had been a quiet day aboard the U.S.S Voyager. Q and Amanda had shown up earlier that day, but considering that Q was now your garden-variety human telepath and married for four years to boot, he didn't give the ship's crew the headaches he once did.

Tom Paris, ship's helmsman, had to chuckle as he remembered the look on Kathryn Janeway's face as Q's 20th century human wife squealed in delight at seeing the friend she hadn't seen in three years. Diane Smith was a highly demonstrative woman, as could be attested to by the fact that she and Q were expecting their fourth child.

Then, his thoughts turned to B'Elanna Torres, the ship's half-Klingon chief engineer. Gods, she loved him more than he'd ever have a right to be loved. And he felt the same, wholeheartedly

So lost in thought was the young Lieutenant that he didn't see the two thugs enter Sandrine's.

"Hello, Tommy," the voice was rough, gravely.

Tom's blue eyes widened in shocked horror. Not because he was especially surprised at the two men's intentions. He'd spent thirteen months at Auckland Penal Colony after his Maquis ship got caught by Federation authorities, where he'd learned quite well the depths to which the human soul was capable of sinking. It was that it could happen here, on Voyager, that shocked him. 

The larger of the two backhanded him to the floor as his partner deactivated Sandrine and the customers.

OH, GOD, was the only thought that came to Tom's mind as he was forced to his knees. The name of the larger assailant came to him then. Ensign Carlin, whose sister had been killed in the crash on Caldik Prime. Tom had been piloting that shuttle .HE'S FINALLY FOUND ME. NOW HE'S GOING TO KILL ME.

"I know what you're thinking, Tommy, "Carlin leered," but you ain't gettin' off that easy. I'm not going to kill you. I'm just going to make you wish I had."

Carlin yanked Tom's pants down roughly. 

Tom screamed in outraged anguish when the brute forced his way inside him. "Why are you doing this?" He shouted. "Please, don't do this to me. You're hurting me! Stop!"

Diane noticed suddenly how quiet the bar had gotten when the cry of terrified agony rang out from the other end of the establishment. She crept over quietly, trying not to attract attention. Q would never let her hear the end of it if she got involved in something which might harm her or their unborn child. But she couldn't help herself. In her own time, she'd been a nurse. Pain intense enough to cause that sort of scream put her on autopilot.

When she reached the place the scream had come from, her own sapphire eyes widened as Tom's had. But all she could do was watch while the two men raped the young pilot brutally and hope there was enough of him left to save when they were done. The flash of a blade caught her eye, and it was all she could do not to leap from hiding. Another scream echoed from the bar's walls as the knife was plunged to the hilt into his side in order to silence him. But Diane could only crouch, trembling with barely-contained rage, behind the bar until it was safe.

Tom's screams became pleas, then soft sobs as he realized that begging wasn't going to help him. All he was able to do was submit to his attackers and hope he lived through this atrocity. He could feel a warm wetness running down his legs, congealing as it dripped down his thighs. It didn't take him but a second to realize the warmth was his own blood. The blood flowing from his torn rectum joined with that which gushed from the wound in his side, becoming a sticky pool on the floor beneath him. Finally, they stopped, engaging the security lock behind them as they left. Carlin kicked him hard in the chest before exiting.

Tom tried to stand, knowing he had to get to Sickbay before he bled out here on the barroom floor. But his legs wouldn't hold his weight, causing him to tumble to his knees.

Diane approached cautiously, not wanting to startle the shivering young man. "Tom," she called softly, 

"It's Diane. I'm going to help you."

"Computer, arch."

"Security lock engaged. Unable to comply without authorization code."

"Damn,"she swore quietly. Then, she saw Tom's combadge lying next to her on the floor.

"Diane to Sickbay."

"Yes?"Voyager's Emergency Medical Holgram answered the page as brusquely as he always did.

"Lieutenant Paris has just been assaulted. We need immediate transport to Sickbay."

"The internal transporters are down,"the feminine voice belonged to Sarah Lopez, the transporter chief,"You're going to have to call someone to help you get him down there."

***Hon,***Diane sent to her husband,***I need your muscles to get Tom out of here. Get the Holodeck access codes from Commander Chakotay and get down here!***

***On my way.***

Q arrived moments later, trailed closely by Chakotay. 

"By all the Gods,"Q's voice was a shocked whisper. Never, in his millions of years of life, had he seen anyone so brutalized. For his people, physical rape was a totally foreign concept. A lump of utter revulsion rose in his throat, forcing him to run for the nearest lavatory.

Diane looked at Chakotay, who nodded that she should follow her husband.

"Mon Cher, are you allright?"Diane popped her head into the stall to find Q bent over the toilet, dry heaves still wracking his slender frame.

He nodded, throat still too raw to speak. Finally, he regained his voice.

"Five hundred million years in this universe,"he whispered ruefully,"and the monstrous acts humans are capable of still manage to take me off guard."

He hugged her slightly rounded body to him, as if to reassure himself that she was unharmed.

"When I saw Tom, broken, in shock, bleeding all over the floor, all I could think of is how badly torn up I would have been if that had been you."He shuddered visibly at the mental image."I tell you to reign in some of your more protective tendencies only because I couldn't bear it if something were to happen to you."

"I'm okay, Mon Amour. We'd best go check on Tom. Maybe Doc could use my help in Sickbay. I am a nurse, you know."

Q had a thought that brought a mischievous gleam to his hazel eyes. "You may have more work than you think if B'Elanna found Tom's rapists."

"No, I won't,"the answering gleam in Diane's blue ones was just as devilish,"'cause if B'Elanna found them, they'll be too dead to require my services. If you'd seen as many angry Klingons as I have, you'd know that."

"Mom?"The questioning voice belonged to Diane's six-year-old daughter Lucia.

"Amanda,"Diane yelled without interrupting her treatment of Tom's injuries,"get Lucia out of here!"

The blond girl swept the dainty red-haired child out of Sickbay. Or tried to, at least.

"No!" Lucia shrieked."I wanna help Tommy. I wanna make him feel better."

Lucia ran over to the bed, throwing her arms around the shaken pilot. Suddenly, all the pain and terror burst out of Tom as if the dam holding them back had broken. the emotions came pouring out in great, heaving sobs. Lucia held tight, whispering,"Shh, everything's gonna be okay. My Mommy's gonna help make it all better."all the while. 

"You're only a kid,"Tom sobbed,"you couldn't p-possibly understand what they d-did to m-me. They r-raped m-me. It's going t-to b-be a l-long t-time b-before anyo-one c-can make it b-better."

Lucia didn't react to his outburst, having wisdom enough beyond her tender years to know the reasons for it. Instead, she simply held him, rocking him and stroking his back as she'd seen her mother do to her father during his first few months of humanity when the nightmares had kept Q awake for days at a time.

Diane took one of his hands in hers."I can,"she whispered,"not even Q knows this, but I myself know what it feels like to be assaulted like you have. I felt so violated, as if someone had taken away everything that made me a worthwhile human being. But I made it through. You can, too, but it will take time. But only if you're willing to fight for it."

Tom swallowed heavily, then nodded, sleep claiming him as the narcotics used to control his pain took effect.

It was then that Diane noticed the little white bead the Doctor was sliding back and forth between his fingers. She went nearly sheet-white when she realized what the bead was. It was a Navajo skinwalker's bonebead.

"Doctor,"she asked, fighting desperately to keep her voice steady,"where did you get that bead?"

"I recovered it from Mr. Paris' knife wound. Why?"

"I have to talk to Commander Chakotay. I'll explain it to you after I talk to him. I'll need to borrow the bead for an hour or so."

He handed it to her, looking at her as if she'd lost her mind. The look didn't go unnoticed.

"I know what I'm doing. Just trust me on this."

Diane found Chakotay in the Mess Hall about ten minutes later. 

"Chakotay,"she asked, pronouncing his name Navajo-fashion with an accent on the first syllable,"may I talk to you privately for a moment?"

He nodded his assent, following her into the corridor.

"Do you know if there are any Navajo on Voyager that may have a grudge against Lt. Paris?"

His obsidian eyes searched her worried blue gaze carefully before answering.

"None that I know of, except for the typical hostility everyone occasionally feels toward Tom. Why do you ask?"

"What can you tell me about this?"Diane showed him the bead.

Chakotay paled."Where did you get that?"

"Doc found it in the stab wound in Tom's side."

The commander became even more ashen, if that was possible."I haven't seen one of these in many years, since I was a child while my people were still on Earth. It is the bonebead that a skinwalker, a Navajo witch, uses to witch someone."

Diane had a sudden brainstorm. She'd gotten a good look at Carlin, enough to notice things about the bone structure in his face. His cheekbones were high, with the aggressive slant she'd seen only on those with Native American heritage. 

"Ensign Carlin,"she whispered, more to herself than Chakotay."Computer, birth records for Ensign Marcus Carlin. Include race of both parents."

"Ensign Carlin,"the computer intoned,"Born in San Francisco, California, stardate-"

"Convert to Earth calendar."

"- in the Earth year 2341. Parents were Captain Alexander Carlin of the Federation Starship Valencesies, Caucasian, and Theresa Longtail Carlin, Navajo Native American."

Diane worried the inside of her cheek with her teeth, pondering what to do with the confirmation of her hunch. "Well,"she said to Chakotay,"it appears we have a would-be skinwalker aboard this ship."

Chakotay wasn't quite sure how to answer this belegaana woman who knew entirely too much about Dinneh culture. He opted for complete honesty.

"I don't follow a lot of the Old Ways,"he admitted,"I've never believed in skinwalkers, and I've never seen one. The last person who's even claimed to have seen one was my great-grandfather, Talking Fist, of the Slow Talking Dinneh. But that was over 150 years ago. That won't help Tom, though. In his current vulnerable state, he'd be easy to convince that skinwalkers are real. And the mind has more to do with whether a witch can make you sick than any real magic can."

Diane nodded. She, too, knew the power the mind could have over the body of someone with very little spiritual grounding.

B'Elanna crept quietly into Sickbay. Her brown eyes were bloodshot, their lids red and the skin underneath them puffy. They were dry at the moment, but Doc could see that she had been crying not too long before. It was the first time since he'd first been activated that he could recall seeing any evidence of the half-Klingon woman shedding tears on anyone's behalf. Tuvok, Voyager's Vulcan security officer, had already questioned B'Elanna about the incident. Even with his people's strict creed of non-emotion, Tuvok could not prevent a reaction at seeing the battered helmsman. His face, as darkly complected as that of an African-American, had paled to a sickly yellow.

She grasped one of Tom's hands in hers, looking grimly at the readings on the diagnostic panel above his head. He was barely clinging to life, the only thing keeping him on this side of the Void being the ever-famed Paris stubbornness. She hadn't noticed Diane's quiet presence until the 8-year older woman set her hand on B'Elanna's shoulder. The engineer choked back the tears that threatened to burst forth once again by sheer strength of will. Her voice was soft when she finally spoke.

"I always thought I'd have eternity to tell Tom how I felt,"she whispered,"so I always kept putting it off. Scared, I guess."She gave a self-deprecating chuckle."Imagine, the big, strong Klingon woman afraid to admit what's in her own heart. Now, I may never get a chance to tell him how much I really love him."

Diane patted the shoulder that shook underneath her hand."You know, I think he already realized how you felt. But Tom is like my darling Q in a lot of ways. Please, don't laugh or deny it. Both of them have so much emotional baggage. You couldn't possibly conceive of how difficult it is for someone who's known only anger and rejection for his entire life to learn to trust again. I don't know what Tom's homelife was like during his childhood, but he shows all the earmarks of someone who could never measure up to his family's expectations. I know what that's like. But Tom is one of the most stubborn individuals I have ever come into contact with. The only one I've ever met with more self-determination is the man I married. If he can't recover from this, I don't know who can."

B'Elanna smiled shakily at Diane's strong reassurance, one that stemmed from a near-unshakable faith. Q seemed to share that faith, judging from the radical changes in the way he treated people that had occurred in the past four years. He'd become more open, seemingly less afraid of being hurt. It struck B'Elanna just then, her thought. Q's main problem had always been this fear that if he opened up his heart to someone that they'd step all over it. Every sentient being he'd ever encountered had proven his theory. Tom was the same way. But whereas Q used his sarcasm, superior intelligence, and biting wit as his shield against all the painful realties of the real universe, Tom employed his charm, offbeat sense of humor, and devil-may-care smile. For all the two's differences in method, she had to admit that their motives were very much the same. But how would the man she loved as her own life cope now, with all of those defenses lost to him?

Tom moaned, tossing restlessly in his sleep as if held tight in the grip of some unspeakable nightmare. Words tumbled from his ragged throat, inaudible at first, but soon growing loud enough to be understood as the terror of the dream grew stronger. B'Elanna had never heard Tom sound quite so young or so vulnerable.

"Daddy, No!" He sounded like he was all of 12 years old."Please, don't touch me. I was only looking at her because she's so pretty."

The images held Tom tight, so tight there was not even a ghost of a chance of escaping. For the first time in 14 years, he was remembering something so horrid he could not even push the words out. He screamed incoherently, seeing in his mind's eye his father's pants falling down, pooling around his ankles. Dad's voice was rough as he spoke.

"You want to know what you're supposed to do to pretty girls? Here, I'll show you."

Then, pain that made it feel as if someone were ripping his insides out. 

The Doctor practically leapt to Tom's side as his heartrate skyrocketed to 140.

HE'S DYING,was the only thought in both women's minds as the young man went into convulsions, sweat pouring down his face as his back arched with inescapable agony.

"Goddammit, Tom,"B'Elanna's tone was harsher than she'd intended it to be as a result of her desperation,"don't you leave me! I swear on the sacred crypt of Kahless, if you die on me, I'll vaporize myself and you'll have to deal with me giving you Hell for eternity about how you gave up too soon."Her next words were a wild, shouting plea."Tom, I love you!"

His pulse slowly began to drop, and those beautiful sapphire eyes fluttered open. They swam with tears, the nightmare slow to release its hold on him. B'Elanna reacted instinctively, wrapping her arms around him gently.

"Diane,"he croaked,"Where are Q and the kids?"He asked because he'd almost never seen her without her entourage.

"Still in bed asleep, or at least they'd better be. Q's lost all too much sleep since becoming human, and I have no wish to deal with a cranky six-year-old or a sleep-deprived set of four-year-old twins."

Tom shuddered as the details of the dream returned with stark clarity.

Blood-lust suffused B'Elanna as Tom told her of the memory which the recent rape had triggered. Great Kahless, what kind of monster would rape his own son just for looking at a pretty girl cross-eyed? And what kind of lingering aftereffects did it cause the child on the receiving end? It was a wonder he still had even a shred of dignity or sanity to claim as his own. That he did spoke volumes for his strength of mind and will to survive.

Q stumbled in moments later, Diane's mind having sent out waves of concern which had woken him from his slumber. But Diane didn't chide him for coming to Sickbay instead of going back to sleep, only turned into his strong arms seeking comfort. 

A week later, Tom sat in Sandrine's nursing a drink. Doc still hadn't given his okay for the pilot to return to active duty status as yet, so Tom had plenty of time to drink the memories away and lick his wounds. He'd not quite achieved a comfortably light-headed feeling of drunkenness when Q plopped himself down onto the stool next to him.

"Barkeep,"the ex-omnipotent called,"I'll take a strawberry margarita, double shot of Cuervo 1800, on the rocks."

Q wore a daring grin as the bartender set the drink in front of him. Then, the grin faded and Q cleared his throat, as if not quite sure where to begin.

"Wanna talk?" The offer was made in a halting, hesitant tone.

The last thing Tom wanted to do was discuss how he was feeling. So he shrugged his shoulders, as if to say"It's your call".

"Fine. Since you don't seem to want to talk, I will. Let me tell you how I met Diana Wainwright, the only woman besides my wife that I have ever truly loved. I was mated at the time, to a female that made B'Elanna look like Little Orphan Annie. I basically told her I didn't wish to be her mate any longer and that she could go fuck herself. Well, she didn't react too well to that."He could see the beginnings of a smile touch Tom's lips as the pilot imagined the female Q's reaction."As a matter of fact, she kicked the living shit out of me. I don't know if you realize this, but it is possible for one Q to wipe another out of existence. If the Continuum, in their ever-infinite wisdom, had not decided to intervene, I most likely would have experienced the Q version of death. But they forgot what San Francisco, especially the southeast quarter, is like at night."Q shuddered visibly at the memory."Here I was, bleeding, broken, totally defenseless, lying on a bar-festooned San Fran street corner at two o' clock in the morning. Two guys walked out of one of the bars. They held me to the ground and..."he stopped, swallowing heavily, unable to continue."Well, my brother discovered what happened and got me to the ENTERPRISE. But it took me a long time to recover from what those two heathens did to me. I'll never forgive them, and I hope God eventually will forgive me for my hard-heartedness. But some things are much harder to forgive than others. So, believe me, Mr. Paris, I can more than understand how violated and shamed you felt by the things that happened to you."

Q got up and left, knees still a bit shaky from all he'd revealed, secrets not even Diane knew for fear she'd go on a crusade for the ones who'd hurt him.

Tom stared after him, admiring the strength which had allowed this man to survive not only going from being god-like in abilities to being a mortal human being, but to survive a brutal rape as well. One which, considering how Q had felt about human sexual practices at the time, had to have been twice as devastating for Q as Tom's rape had been for him. And he'd come out the other end as a whole, fully functioning human being who had three kids and another one on the way to prove that he had. One thing was for sure, Picard had severely underestimated this being. And Tom was going to rub the high and mighty ENTERPRISE captain's face in it, too, if they ever got back to the Alpha Quadrant. The look on Jean-Luc's face almost made it worthwhile to have to face his father again. Almost. But where did that quiet, rock-solid strength come from? Tom almost gasped as he made the connection. It was Q's faith that had made the difference, his unwavering surety that God would never place on him a greater burden than he was able to bear. So Tom did something he hadn't done since he was twelve years old, laying on the floor bleeding after his father had raped him to punish him for admiring the pretty girl in his best friend's freshman class. He prayed.

GOD, I KNOW I'VE BEEN ANGRY WITH YOU ALL THESE YEARS. BLAMED YOU FOR THE ABUSE I TOOK FROM MY FATHER FOR SO LONG, I GUESS. BUT I SEE THE DIFFERENCE YOU'VE MADE IN Q'S LIFE. MAYBE IT'S TIME TO PUT THE BITTERNESS AWAY AND LEARN TO LIVE AGAIN. 

Captain Kathryn Janeway paced the floor of her ready-room while Tuvok informed her of the results of his investigation.

"Where is Ensign Carlin now? I want him taken into custody immediately"

"Ensign Carlin is not aboard the Voyager,"the computer informed her.

"Lt. Lopez,"Kathryn said,"have there been any unauthorized transports in the last three days."

"No, Captain." 

"They must have taken a shuttle, then. Computer, where is the nearest class M planet to our present position?"

The computer showed the world's location on the star chart Neelix had provided them.

"I don't want Tom down there. But he's the best pilot we've got."

"Captain,"Diane stood in the door, eyes shyly downcast,"if I may speak candidly?'

Janeway nodded."Anything you can suggest that might help us, Ms. Smith, is more than welcome."

"Q piloted a shuttle on commercial runs for a while after we were married. More to keep himself from utter boredom than anything else. But he's damn good, not as good as Lt. Paris, but very close. I suggest giving him a field commission for the duration of this mission and having him fly the shuttle down. Send Lt. Torres down with him in case of emergency. The two of them together should be more than enough to handle your suspects."

"Agreed. Chakotay, have Q meet me in my ready room as soon as possible. I'd like to get this over with."

Five minutes later, Q walked through the door."You wished to see me, Kathy?" he wore a roguish smile.

"You can call me Captain now, Lieutenant. I'm giving you a field commission at your wife's suggestion. Your orders are as follows. You are to fly one of our Warp-capable shuttles to the planet for which Lieutenant Torres has the coordinates. Once you reach it, you and B'Elanna will be arresting two men on suspicion of rape and attempted murder. I'd like to get this cleared up quickly. Dismissed, Lieutenant Q."

Q saluted rakishly."Aye, Captain."

B'Elanna shifted uneasily in the co-pilot's chair as Q prepared to leave the safety of Voyager's docking bay. Despite the plainly evident changes in him, she still felt a bit uncomfortable working an away mission with him.

"Just remember who's in command here,"Torres told him sternly as they pulled out,"you may be one hell of a pilot, but I am a Starfleet officer, and I've been one considerably longer than you have. If I give you an order, you are to obey it without arguing it with me for hours. Got it?"

"Succinctly,"he muttered, barely keeping the sarcasm out of his voice.

"Good. Let's get this done. I have a date with Tom tonight."

Alarms suddenly blared to life as Q powered up the small Warp core in the shuttle.

"Warning,"the computer intoned,"Field integrity compromised. Warp core breach will occur in two minutes, thirty seconds."

"Shut down the Warp core,"B'Elanna yelled above the klaxons.

"I'm trying,"Q shouted back, fear creeping into his tone,"I can't, the controls are frozen!"

B'Elanna leapt over to the Conn and discovered he was correct."Dammit,"she swore softly,"someone's sabotaged the controls. Try to hold her as steady as you can, Lieutenant. I'm going to try to repair the shield."

WHAT KIND OF IDIOT DESIGNED THIS THING,she thought to herself,IF THE CORE DOES GO UP, IT'LL CAUSE A HULL BREACH. DECOMPRESSIVE ASPHYXIA IS NOT EXACTLY THE MOST PLEASANT WAY TO DIE.

***Diane, we're in trouble. Tell Kathryn to have the transporter chief ready to beam us in in a hurry. We may have a core breach in progress.***

Diane paled at his Sending. This news was almost enough to make her believe in skinwalkers. But she delivered the news to the captain as she was asked.

"Field collapsing,"the shuttle's computer informed them,"Core breach will occur in thirty seconds."

Suddenly, a loud explosion sounded behind Q, sending B'Elanna's body flying past him into the rear compartment. The explosion was followed by a loud WHOOSH as the hull to his right blew open. That ominous sound was the sucking of all of the oxygen from the shuttle's interior. 

Blackness hovered at the edge of his vision. He knew it would be only seconds before he passed out from oxygen deprivation, and not long after that before he reached a point where he'd never awaken from that unconscious state.

***I love you,***he Sent to his wife with the last of his strength.***Tell the children I love them, too.***

Then, he felt the tingling that signaled the start of transport. Seconds later, the shuttle exploded.

"B'Elanna!" The scream of utter anguish and despair was torn from Tom's throat. 

Diane didn't cry out, only hoped beyond hope that Sarah had beamed them out in time.

"We got them,"Sarah's voice was grim. A bad sign, for the transporter chief was usually perpetually cheerful."I'm sorry to inform you, Captain, but Lieutenant Torres didn't make it. She was dead on arrival."

"Q?"Kathryn asked, almost hesitantly.

"The Doctor is working on him now. It doesn't look good."

"Keep me informed. Janeway out."

It was Diane that paced Janeway's ready-room this time."I was so stupid! Because of me, B'Elanna is dead. If I hadn't suggested sending Q down in that shuttle, she'd be at Sandrine's with Tom right now instead of lying on a slab in Sickbay. And I may have cost my husband his life, too."

"You did the best you could, Diane,"Kathryn reassured her,"There was no way you could have known that Carlin had sabotaged the shuttle. Castigating yourself over something you could not have prevented is not doing you any good."

Diane smiled sheepishly, but the smile held traces of sorrow."I know, but it helps to keep me from raging at the unfairness of it. I'm going to Sickbay to check on my husband. I suggest you send Tom down there, too. I don't want to have his blood on my hands, too, because he harmed himself."

A sudden sense of dread hit her as she entered Sickbay. Then, a faint breeze blew across her consciousness. She instantly realized what it was.

"Q,"she said softly, voice shaking as sobs clogged her throat. That breeze had been her husband's soul leaving his mortal shell. Tom was already there, blue eyes gazing at B'Elanna.

Gods, even in death she was beautiful. Her face had been totally undamaged by the explosion that had killed her. Tom stroked one angular cheekbone, a tender caress of good-bye.

Diane approached the bed upon which her husband lay. His face looked peaceful, death having removed all the worry-related creases. A hand slipped into hers, squeezing it in a bid for comfort. It was Tom's hand, strong, grip firm, fingers long and slender. Diane squeezed back, giving the pilot a shaky smile as they stood, locked in a moment of intensely shared grief.

Suddenly, Tom swept her into his arms, head sinking into the crook of her shoulder. Diane was dimly aware of something shaking against her. It was Tom, venting his grief in great, heaving, gulping sobs. 

That broke her own barriers. Soon, they were sobbing in each other's arms. 

The Doctor watched from his office, feeling something unusual for him. Sympathy.

Kathryn pushed her reddish-blond hair from her gray-blue eyes while watching her pilot. She was worried about him. In the week since B'Elanna's death, Tom had become gaunt and hollow-eyed. She'd offered to let him have an extra week off in order to grieve, but he'd refused. She'd nodded understandingly. He'd managed to keep himself somewhat sane by burying himself in his work. Without it, he'd have too much time on his hands in which to think. 

"Mr. Paris?"

Tom shook himself from his daydream."Sorry, Captain. What was it you asked?"

"I asked you about the status of the repairs on the remainder of the shuttlecraft."

"Let me check with Harry and Seven. I'll report back to you as soon as I know anymore."

Kathryn pinned him with that penetrating stare."I'd like to speak with you in my ready room, Lieutenant."

Janeway seated herself on one side of the desk and got herself some coffee, motioning Tom to take the other chair. "I'm not in the habit of tolerating a necessity for me to repeat my orders, Tom. I know how badly B'Elanna's death shook you. Hell, it shook us all up. But I need you to be as sharp as you can possibly be while on my bridge.I don't think you have the ability to be at your sharpest right now. Therefore, you are relieved of duty until further notice. I'd recommend you see Doc about something to help you cope with your loss. I also think you should find someone you can trust to help you work through your grief. Someone who knows what you're going through would be even more ideal."

Tom swallowed, tears threatening. The one time he felt as if he had complete control of his environment was when he was flying. And control was something he desperately needed right now. After all, a week ago his world had gone totally out of control. But he mustered the last of his dignity around him and answered softly,"Aye, Captain."

Diane watched Tom walk into Sandrine's. His shoulders were slumped, as if the entire universe rested on them. She knew she should go over and talk to him, but being near him drew at her own pain, pain which was still entirely too close to the surface. Losing Q had hurt her more than she'd ever imagined possible, even more than losing her father. The bond they'd shared had been one that was on every level; mental, physical, emotional, even spiritual; making his death feel like the tearing away of part of her own soul. Lucia had accepted the loss quietly, as had always been her way. Quentin and Alanis, however, were inconsolable. How do you explain to a four-year-old that their father is dead?

TO HELL WITH IT, Diane thought to herself, TOM NEEDS ME, AND IT WOULD BE SELFISH OF ME NOT TO MEET THAT NEED SIMPLY BECAUSE DOING SO MAKES ME A BIT UNCOMFORTABLE. With that in mind, she sauntered over to him.

"Hi,"Diane greeted Tom in a way that spoke of an attempt at casualness,"how are you?" 

Tom looked up, an unexpected intensity in his cerulean eyes. He searched her gaze, nearly the same shade as his own, for any sign that she blamed him for Q's death. All he saw there was sympathy and understanding. But there was no way he was going to be able to answer the questions that questing gaze was asking.

"I'm fine. Listen, I gotta go. I'm supposed to meet Harry and Seven for breakfast tomorrow morning. Seven's a little freaked over what happened, and I promised Harry I'd talk to her. Good-night."

Diane sensed he wasn't going to tell her anything that night, but that didn't keep her from trying."If you need to talk, I'm in the room next to B'Elanna's quarters. Please don't hesitate to come see me."

"Thanks,"and Diane knew he was thanking her as much for her laying off when she'd sensed he wasn't ready to talk as he was for her offer of an attentive ear once he was."I'll make sure to remember that."

Despair overwhelmed him as the lights went out. The pain of losing B'Elanna hit him suddenly, with all the force of an exploding neutron star. He hadn't allowed himself to truly grieve in the week since her death, the pain of it being too intense for him to cope with. As it was, his heart felt as if it had been torn free of his chest. 

A song drifted through the walls of the room next-door, one the lyrics of which mirrored the torture in his soul.

without you,

there'd be no sun in my sky,

there would be no love in my life,

there'd be no world left for me.

And I,

Baby, I don't know what I would do.

I'd be lost if I lost you.. 

If you ever leave,

Baby, you would take away everything

good in my life.

So tell me how

how do I live without you?

I want to know.

How do I breathe without you?

If you ever go.

How do I ever, ever survive?

oh how do I, oh how do I live?

"I know the answer,"Tom whispered into the empty room,"I can't. I know you're going to give me Hell when I see you on the other side, B'Elanna, but there's no way I can survive everything I've been through without you."

The young pilot walked over to the replicator and asked it for a steak knife. It produced the implement without comment. Tom took it and walked into the bathroom, thankful for the old-style bathtub he'd insisted on installing in his quarters. It made what he had planned so much simpler. He filled the tub with water, making sure it was warm enough to keep him from going into shock too quickly without being warm enough to prolong the scene. He stripped down to his skivvies, not wanting to shock whoever found him the next morning too badly. He devoutly hoped it wouldn't be Harry that found him. The last thing he wanted was for the kid to become jaded at the age of 23. Harry, after all, was the first person to befriend him when he'd arrived, and he didn't want to hurt him like that. 

"Computer, engage privacy lock."

Tom peered at his wrist, seeking a likely artery. After finding what he was looking for, he positioned the knife over his arm and slashed downward. Blood came spurting forth, dyeing the water pink. The other wrist presented a bit more difficulty as he'd cut the nerve in the first one along with the artery, but he managed it. Now all that was left to do was wait until blood loss took his life.

Seven stood outside of Tom's door, the report on the shuttle repairs in her hand. She'd told Lieutenant Paris she'd bring the report to him as soon as she and Harry had finished the work.

"Lieutenant,"she called,"It is Seven. I have brought the report to you as you specified. Please open the door."

Tom dimly heard the female voice at the front door to his quarters. With it came a reminder of his duties to his crew and a renewing of his will to live.

"Se'en?"His voice was weak almost to the point of being inaudible, but Seven's ears, still enhanced to the extent that her hearing was almost as good as her Borg ex-compatriots, caught the question.

"Is there something wrong, Mr. Paris?"

Tom gathered what little strength remained to him."Se'en, help me."

"In order for me to assist you, Lieutenant, you will have to disengage your lock. I cannot help you from the other side of your front door."

"Compu'er,"he gasped, running out of breath to complete the order.

"Acknowledged. Please state request."

"Unlock..."

"Privacy lock disengaged."

Seven strode quickly into the darkened room. Her blond hair, caught up in a clip, glowed nearly white in the starlight coming from the living-room window."Mr. Paris, where are you?"

"Bath..."He fell silent, finally blacking out from blood loss. 

Seven found him. For the first time since her connection with the Borg Collective had been severed, her emotions were strong enough to show on her face. On that exquisitely delicate face was an expression of utter shock. However, she collected her wits quickly. If she didn't act expeditiously, this young man was going to die. She had no intention of facing Harry after allowing that to happen.

"You are suffering from acute blood loss,"she informed a now-moaning Tom,"I will attempt to stop the bleeding, then transport you to Sickbay. Please remain calm. I will not allow you to stop functioning."

HARRY WOULD CAUSE ME TO STOP FUNCTIONING, she thought, but did not say.

"How is he, Doc?"The voice had a worried tone to it, Tom noticed as he drifted towards consciousness.

"He lost a lot of blood, but he should recover fully. I understand that it was Seven of Nine who found him."

"Yes. I think it's the first time anyone has ever managed to shake that Borg calm of hers. Tom gave her quite a shock."

Tom realized the voice was Diane's. The other person in the room was Amanda, Alanis balanced on her hip. "I think he's awake,"Amanda said.

Diane sat down on the bed next to him, emotions roiling through her, feelings that were a mix of sympathy, relief, and anger. The anger won out.

"Are you *crazy*,"she shouted. she shot Doc a look that caused him to quell his protective instincts."I know what you're going through, Tom, believe me. Hell, I'm probably the only one who understands it completely. But we have responsibilities. Me, to my kids, you for all of the crew. We don't have the luxury of offing ourselves. You think I don't understand? Just because you haven't seen me cry since the day they died doesn't mean I don't feel that knife in my gut every day. You have to live with it, live day by day. Eventually, the grief fades. You go on with your life. Trust me on this."

"What the hell do you know!? My father beat me nearly every day of my life from the time I entered grade school because nothing I ever did was good enough for him. I thought I'd finally escaped all the insanity when I left on Voyager. But I'll never escape it. And now that insanity has taken the life of the woman I loved."

"Insanity? Hah, you don't know the meaning of the word. You know how I met Q? He'd gotten stuck on Earth during a shift of the magnetic poles. 20th century earth. I rescued him one morning while I was getting ready for work. He'd been mugged and stabbed in the chest with a hunting knife.Can you imagine what it's like to have near-invincibility most of the time, only to discover that it's deserted you the one time that you really need it? He was frightened for months afterward to even leave my apartment alone. But he got through it. Yes, you lost B'Elanna. Yes, it hurts like shit. But you're not alone."Diane took a ragged breath, on the verge of tears as the fury expended itself."I lost Q! My children are fatherless! He was Mon Coeur, my heart! You don't see me slitting my wrists, though. I have too damn much to live for. And so do you."

Tom was stunned silent by her outburst. It was so much like something B'Elanna would have done. He'd always seen so much tenderness from this woman. To discover that she had a fierce temper came as somewhat of a surprise.

Diane read his mind, it seemed. She decided to try Sending to him.***Only in defense of those I care about. It's a bitch when the one you're defending that loved one from is himself, though.***

Tom started in amazement. "You're a telepath!"

Diane chuckled wryly. "It's a result of being married to one for so long, I would think. It does come in handy on occasion."

His expression went somber as the pain hit once again."How am I ever going to survive without her? She was my soul, a part of me. Every time I touched her, all the pain in my life disappeared. But now all I have left is the pain. That's why..."

Diane completed his thought."Why you want to be numb, to not feel anymore. But you can't live like that, Tom. Living, really living, means taking risks. Yes, you will get hurt occasionally. You may even lose someone you've come to care about. But without knowing the deepest of sorrows, you'll never know the highest of joys. You can't have one without the other. That's why I'm willing to try again, even though each death I have to work through pierces my heart like an arrow. I can't stand going through life without truly living it."

Seven came back into Sickbay at that moment. For once, that composed, expressionless mask was gone from her features. Diane could tell that seeing Tom hurt like she had had shaken her badly.

"I am not typically one who examines herself too closely, Lieutenant,"she started softly,"but there are some things I simply must say to you. I have watched you ever since I joined the Voyager Collective. In you I saw all the things I knew I should strive to be if I was to become fully human. You were so bright, so vibrant, so full of life. I admired those qualities in you, still do. Seeing you, however, hurting in a way I could never possibly hope to understand, has given me new insights into what it means to be human. I want the strength I see in you, will need it if I ever wish to make it as one of you. But I know I will never achieve it without help. I need to know how you acquired it."

"I don't know what to tell you, Seven. I had to go through Hell and return to get the tenacity I have. I don't ever want to see you suffer like that. I always saw in you qualities I could never have. You're innocent, untainted. But you have strength, and intelligence, too. Plus

a wisdom I could never hope to understand. That's why you and Harry are so good together. You complement each other, filling in the missing pieces of each other to form a beautiful whole. I don't know if I'm capable of loving someone like that."

Diane saw this tortured young soul in a whole new light.

SO MUCH LIKE Q, she thought, ALL THIS HURT, ALL THIS RAGE, AND YET HE STILL SOMEHOW MANAGES TO BE NOBLE AND DECENT. I WISH THE"MIGHTY ADMIRAL" COULD SEE THIS JUST SO I COULD RUB HIS FACE IN IT, HOW WRONG ABOUT HIS BABY SON HE IS.

She stayed with him when Seven left, lying in the bed next to him and marveling at the even sound of his breathing. Life had always been so very precious to her, and it was even more so now when she realized just how much the loss of it could hurt.

The next morning found them with Diane's head resting on Tom's chest, one arm curled in an almost protective manner around her waist.

"Good morning,"Tom murmured sleepily. That red hair felt so good brushing against his bare skin. He twined his fingers in it, reveling in the feel of the silky strands between his fingers. It had taken this for him to realize just how beautiful this woman was.

Diane saw the lazy smile, then the way the smile faded into a sense of wondering awe. She felt a similar awe for this man who had survived so much with his mind still intact. But there was something else there as well. She was attracted to this man, had been since the night of the rape. Of course, she'd never have acted on it, not at that time. Q had still been alive at that time, and she'd been married to him. Now, though, now was a different matter. She did what was in her heart. She pressed her lips to his, gently, almost tentatively.

Tom gasped, the sound muffled by her tongue. Never in his life had a simple kiss affected him like this. He returned the kiss, passion coursing like fire along his nerve-endings. Her taste in his mouth was sweet, like a headily-intoxicating wine.

Their passion became a dance, first Diane on top, then Tom, until neither one of them cared what was top or bottom, only about the wonderful sensations they were giving each other.

"Oh God,"Tom groaned brokenly,"I think...Oooh....I'm coming!"

He shuddered, his orgasm so intense it felt like electric shocks running up and down his body.

Tom's shivering groan pushed Diane over the edge with a moaning, ecstatic shout.

"Tom?"Diane questioned. But he didn't answer. At first Diane thought she'd hurt him, that he hadn't been strong enough to handle the passionate exertion. Then she heard his breath, deep and even.

"Well,"she whispered mockingly,"I guess that means I was good."

Tom awoke several hours later to find himself alone in the bed, leaving him to wonder if that morning had been only a dream. Until Diane walked in, all three of her children in tow, looking happier than she had in days.

"I thought you might enjoy having lunch with the group and I," she said, smiling at the kids."Doc's going to release you later this afternoon anyway, and I figured getting out and seeing some of your friends would do you some good."

Quentin looked up at Tom enquiringly, as if sizing up his worthiness for fatherhood. 

Tom had to marvel at how much the child looked like his father. Until he saw how the sparkle had left those hazel eyes. Apparently, Q's death had been as hard on the children as it had been on their mother. But Diane had buffered as much of the pain for them as she possibly could. 

"Sure."

Lunch was quiet, neither one of them mentioning that morning's events.

Diane had dinner with Harry and Chakotay at the Mess Hall that evening. Amanda sat at the table behind them with the kids so that Diane could talk to the two men.

"What's going on, Diane?"Chakotay's brown eyes held much concern."It's unusual for you to be this quiet."

Diane shrugged, attempting to gather her thoughts into some coherent order."I made love with Tom this morning,"she started,"I was attracted to him since the night of the rape, Hell, probably since the day I got married when I first met him. But I don't know where I stand with him now. Every other time I've gotten involved with someone, I've always known exactly where that involvement was heading. Not knowing is a bit disconcerting for me. I don't want this morning to turn out to be some mercy fuck, getting it on because of the simple fact that each of us needed it at the time. I want something more permanent between us. The question is, is either one of us ready for something more? And if we're not, will we still want something more when we do become ready? I also have to think of my kids. Is Tom the kind of man I'd want raising my kids? After all, the child-rearing examples he had weren't exactly wonderful."

"Let me tell you some things about Tom,"Chakotay said,"I will tell you right up front that I didn't have the highest opinion of him when we first met. After all, here was this hotshot pilot, son of a well-known Starfleet admiral. You'd think he'd had everything in his life handed to him on a silver platter, wouldn't you? I later discovered that that particular misconception was dead wrong. In fact, his father was stern, stern to the point of abusive. Owen Paris had Tommy's life all mapped out right from the start. He had no room in those plans for whatever that child might want to do with his own life. When Tom did something not in accordance with those plans, Owen would 'punish' him. Kathryn told me one time about how she'd first spoken with Tom. She'd been working at a teen crisis intervention center, fresh out of the Academy and awaiting her first assignment. I think she was about 22 at the time. Well, she got a comm about ten o'clock one Saturday morning. The caller on the other end was a young man of about 16. He was hysterical, telling her he had a phaser pointed at his head and that he was going to blow a hole in his head and vaporize his brain. Kathryn, of course asked him what was wrong. He told her how his father had beaten him nearly senseless that morning. Do you know why? Because he'd gotten his marks from his pre-Academy coursework and one of those marks was a B. It took her two hours to talk him out of killing himself. Do you think Tom would ever want to be like that?"

"Captain Janeway to Commander Chakotay."

Chakotay tapped his combadge,"Chakotay here."

"I thought I should let you know, Q and B'Elanna's memorial service will commence in one-half hour."

"Acknowledged, Captain. I will inform Diane and Lieutenant Paris. Chakotay out."

Diane smiled sheepishly,"I'd forgotten that was today."The smile faded from her face, her expression becoming somber."I almost wish I didn't have to go through this thing. I know that Q wasn't very well-liked, and I have no desire to be the only person on this entire ship that has something good to say about him. He deserves better than that, though I know you probably don't think so."

Chakotay peered down at her, a tender look on his face,"You won't be the only one. If no one else can say anything nice, I can. I always wondered why he acted like such a bastard. He never was, not really. That act was just that, an act. Underneath that asshole veneer of his, I could sense an odd sort of courage. Not many people had a chance to see that. But then again, We human beings have a tendency not to look too deeply beneath the surface. I wish more of us could have seen that side of him. Maybe it was just fear that did it, made it impossible for him to interact on too deep a level with anyone else."

"Maybe,"Diane sighed,"Or maybe it was just a product of the culture he was raised in. The Q, whether you realize it or not, are capable of a great deal of ruthlessness. The weaker ones are weeded out at an early age. If he had lived, he and Tom would probably have been good friends on the basis of that shared experience alone. Now, we'll never know." 

They entered the briefing room to find it already packed with mourners. Amanda entered behind them with Diane's children, the twins clinging fitfully to each hand. Tears filled her sky-blue eyes.

Diane's eyes widened in surprise as she saw Q's brother staring out the observation port, the golden-haired head of the form he typically wore standing out above the crowd.

"Hello, Loki,"Diane said. He turned around.

"Hey, Diane."

The name had been a running joke between the two of them, almost since the day they'd met. Diane had given names to the Q who were members of Q's family. She'd wanted to give Q's blond, all-American looking brother a name out of mythology. Suzy, Q's ex-wife, had commented that her brother-in-law reminded her of the Norse trickster, and the name had stuck.

He wore a slight smile, but she could see the desolation in his eyes, and the shocked expression around them.

"You okay?"Diane's concerned voice cut through his reverie.

He gave an all-over shudder, then nodded."I'm allright. Just a little shocked, is all. It kinda took me by surprise."

"You mean Q dying?"she prompted.

"Not so much that, really. Let me explain. I arrived yesterday. I'd decided to pop in on Q, check how life as a mortal was treating him. What took me by surprise was that I didn't know. Normally, when one of us dies, the rest of the Continuum can feel his death. I heard when I got here about the accident."

Those turquoise eyes were shiny, a wet sheen. Diane could tell he was very near tears. It was almost as if he didn't realize it, for he didn't turn away."I wish..."he broke off, having to swallow the lump of emotion in his throat before continuing,"I wish I'd had a chance to tell him how proud I was of him. No one among our people thought he'd be able to survive long as a human. They thought he'd suicide within six months. But he proved them wrong. By the universe, he proved ME wrong. He became, as a human, all of the things the Q should be."

Janeway cleared her throat, a signal that the ceremony was to start.

"We are gathered here today to honor the memory of our two slain comrades. Although one was only an officer for one day, I believe he'd had the heart of one for his entire life. I know many of you will not agree with that statement, but he gave his life selflessly in the performance of his duties. I will speak first, then any of you who wish to speak may share your feelings and memories with the rest of us." Kathryn cleared her throat again to clear it of its clog of tears, barely held in check."Now, I will confess I did not like Q very much at first. He was an arrogant, pompous son-of-a-bitch,"That elicited wry chuckles from those gathered who'd known Q before he'd met Diane."For example, on my second encounter with him, he wanted to impregnate me."Again, wry laughter from those who'd been there."But I came to discover a certain nobility in him. He always had a legitimate reason for his often-times egregious actions. I found out that when he came to me asking me to bear his child, it was in order to save his people from themselves. The leaders of his people more than once have failed to look past their own skins. Which is what caused that civil war in the first place. Q nearly died in that war. But he didn't shrink back from that risk. For he wanted for his people the one thing we Feds often take for granted. Freedom."

Diane stood up next."When I was told there was going to be a memorial service, I wasn't quite sure what I should say. So I decided to tell you about a side of my husband the general population rarely saw. Q was a child in many ways, always seeking, always searching for the reasons for his existence. It wasn't until he encountered the spiritual side of himself that he found any kind of peace. As many of you know, Q was a devout Fundamentalist Christian. As am I. His faith gave him courage, I think. But he was also an accomplished musician. Music opened him up like nothing else ever could. When he'd sing or listen to someone else sing, you could see his soul shining in his eyes. He was a wonderful father, as well. He even accepted Lucia as his own, though he had no physical ties with her. I've never encountered a man with enough patience to raise children as high-strung as ours besides him, except maybe my own father. I just wish you could have seen him as I have. I love you deeply, my Love. I will see you on the other side in sixty years or so."

Loki rose to his feet, blue eyes once again awash with unshed tears."Some of you may not have known this, but Q was my brother. I've known him since what passes for childhood among our people. He has had a very difficult time of it. As I'm sure most of you have realized by now, my people can be somewhat ruthless."Janeway chuckled knowingly."Children learn very quickly to protect their consciousness, 'cause if they don't they are quickly subsumed by another of the Q. Thus, they keep the stupider ones from passing on their stupidity to the next generation of Q. I always thought that part of our culture was a shameful thing, for there are many others like my brother who weren't as lucky as him. You see, my brother's grandfather was human. That human taint would have been his undoing if not for his sister Cassela and I. But I think we could stand to learn from him. Q inherited all of the finer human qualities, I believe. Courage, sensitivity, and an understanding of how the human mind works unequaled among the Q. He proved himself better than any of us last week. Proved it by giving his life in order to safeguard that of another."Loki looked pointedly at Tom."I wish us all to remember that lesson. Life is worth nothing if you sacrifice your soul in order to keep it."

Tom stood, his cerulean eyes also wet."I wish I could have known Q better. I remember that first time we spoke at his wedding. I'd heard a lot about him, mostly about how arrogant he was and how he thought humans a stupid lot not worthy to be calling themselves sentient. But there he was, standing outside the Holodeck door, and Gods, he was nervous. It was all I could do not to laugh. Here he was, this being who'd once been able to hold the entire cosmos in the palm of his hand, trembling from the fear of showing his social ineptitude. It was then that I realized he loved the woman he was about to wed, loved her enough to allow himself to be placed in a highly vulnerable position. All I could think of was how brave he was to do that. Put in his position, I'd've cut and run. As fast as I could in the opposite direction. So I told him so. I don't think I've ever seen anyone smile quite the way he did. He told me he'd had thoughts along that line himself, but had no wish to have Diane chasing him across the Alpha Quadrant in order to avenge herself. 'Hell hath no greater fury than a woman scorned'I believe is the quote he used. I can't say as I blamed him. Diane is one woman I would not wish to have angry at me." Diane laughed softly."The second time we spoke was shortly after the incident in Sandrine's. He comforted me, or tried to. I never got a chance to thank him for that. I'll miss you, ya big lug. Take care of yourself up there, and try not to piss God off too much. I hear the other place ain't too dandy. So long."

Then it was B'Elanna's turn. Several of her friends spoke fondly of their times with her, of her courage, of her struggles with her Klingon temper. The room fell silent when Seven rose to her feet.

"I cannot say that Lieutenant Torres was my friend. I wish things had been otherwise between us. But in the last months of her existence, she inadvertently taught me much of what it means to be human. I watched her and Lieutenant Paris, and learned what it is to love another. From her relationship with Ensign Kim, I learned what it is to be another's friend. Lastly, from her dedication to duty, I learned what it is to be a Starfleet officer. That last lesson is one I will not forget. My greatest wish is that perhaps someday I may be called a Starfleet officer and be worthy of the title."

Tom stood then, the tears he'd been holding back finally falling."B'Elanna Torres was my friend. I can say that with firm certainty. But she was more than that to me. I loved her, with all my heart and soul. I remember her telling me about her life when she was younger, how the kids picked on her. Personally, those kids were nuts. B'Elanna never realized, thanks to them, just how beautiful she was. But the wonder of the whole thing was that she was as beautiful inside as she was out."He sat down, unable to continue through his tears.

Harry patted his arm, concern in his dark Asian eyes."B'Elanna was my best friend, well besides Tom. I've watched them for the last few months. Watched them slowly realize how much they loved each other. I was so happy to see it. If any two people had ever deserved to be happy, it was them. But though B'Elanna is gone, her love for him still lives. It will find its safe resting place, right where it belongs. In the hearts of the crew she served, the crew she came to love as her own family. You were loved, B'Elanna, and you will be missed."

"Captain,"Tuvok's voice sounded over the Com,"You are needed on the bridge."

Diane followed her.

Tuvok explained how they'd detected a subspace field a few thousand kilometers off to port.

"Brace yourselves,"Chakotay warned,"Impact in ten seconds."

Reality wavered around them for a moment, then re-established itself.

"Oh, Lord,"Diane's gasp came from the area next to the ready-room door. There, next to her knee, lay a young woman in a Starfleet uniform. Her hair was blond, wispy curls falling around her face where it had been shaken loose of her barrette. But it was the face that gave all present pause. The arrogant jawline, the beautifully lush mouth, the long blond lashes.

"She looks like..."Janeway breathed.

"Tom,"Diane completed her thought,"she looks like Tom would have had he been born a woman."

Twenty minutes later, she began to rise toward consciousness. SCREWED UP AGAIN AS USUAL, DIDN'T YOU, GIRLFRIEND? DAD ALWAYS DID SAY YOU WERE A COLOSSAL FUCK-UP.

"Hey, Doc,"she smiled, causing Janeway to inhale sharply. Gods, even the smile was identical."What's the verdict?"

"You should recover fully."

"Name, rank, position?"Janeway asked.

"Thomasina Eugenia Paris, Lieutenant Junior Grade, Conn officer aboard U.S.S. Voyager."

It was just as Diane had suspected, then. That subspace field had been a doorway into an alternate universe, one in which Tom had been not a son, but a daughter.

"I have to tell you something, Lieutenant, and you may have a difficult time accepting it. But I need to ask you some things first. What do you remember about the time before you got here?"

Thomasina's blue eyes closed for a moment as she called up the memmories."We'd just gotten back from shore leave; Harry, B'Elanna, Seven, and I. Our sensors picked up this strange subspace signal. We went closer to investigate when it engulfed us. Next thing I know, I wake up in Sickbay. An occurrence, I might add, which has occurred all too often as of late,"She glared at the Doctor."I'm not in Kansas anymore, am I?"

Despite the strangeness of the situation, Kathryn had to laugh. The statement was so much like what Tom would have said. "'Fraid not, Lieutenant. If I am correct, that anomaly was a spatial-temporal conduit. You've come to an alternate reality."

Thomasina gaped."I'm really not in Kansas anymore. Gods, I wish Sha were here. My Chakotay, from my world. I don't know what he's like here, but in my reality he helped me work through my anger so I could be an effective officer. Up until six months ago, I had attitude up to here,"she made a chopping motion in the air above her head."Got a question. What am I like here?"

Kathryn and Diane exchanged glances."Pretty close to the same. Only without the P.M.S.."

'Sina took a moment to process that, then grinned evily."I'd almost like to run into my counterpart in the mess hall just to watch his jaw hit the deckplates."

Both the Captain and Diane smiled, their expressions nearly as full of mischief as the girl's.

"I already know Tuvok's going to give the Vulcan equivalent of a pained groan. He'll think'Spirits of the honored dead preserve us, now there's two of them'."

"What the Hell,"Kathryn said, evil grin still firmly affixed,"Meet me in the mess in one half hour."

Diane decked Thomasina out to the nines. When the two emerged from Diane's quarters, Thomasina was a stunner. She was wearing a black tank dress that clung to every curve and fell at about mid-thigh. The dress was complemented with fishnet stockings and a pair of five-inch stiletto heels that made her slender, well-muscled legs look a mile long. To finish the outfit off, Diane had lent the girl her diamond dangle earrings and her amethyst pendant.

All heads turned to the mess hall door as they entered, even Neelix's. And the little Talaxian hadn't even looked twice at a woman since Kes's death six months before.

Tom looked at the woman who'd entered with his friend. Saints, was she gorgeous! But there was something oddly familiar about her features. Then, it clicked.SHE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE I WOULD IF...he never completed the thought, only turned to Harry and Seven, saying,"Catch me, Please,"as his eyes rolled back in his head. 

Seven started gnawing her lower lip."Lieutenant Paris? Are you in need of medical assistance?"

Kathryn smiled slowly as she shook her head."He'll be allright. He just fainted from shock, is all. He should be coming around any second now."

As if on cue, Tom groaned, eyelids fluttering open."Was I imagining things? I thought I just saw myself as a woman. Neelix must have put some kind of hallucinogen in my meal, 'cause I know what I just saw can't be real."

"Wrongo, Tommy Boy. I'm as real as a heart attack, which you looked like you were about to have. Thomasina Eugenia Paris, at your beck and call."

Tom shook his head to clear it of the rest of the shock-induced fog."You enjoyed that, didn't you?"

"Immensely. The expression on your face just before you passed out was worth the trouble all by itself."

Tom smiled at his counterpart."I have to admit, I would have enjoyed it, too. It's not often I get a chance to pull a practical joke on myself."

"My next mission is to have you and I walk over to Tuvok's table, Tom. Captain, does anyone in here have a Holovid camera? I want to record Tuvok's expression for posterity."

Tuvok approached their table as if he'd been hailed. His ebon eyes widened a fraction as he saw Tom and Thomasina standing next to each other."You were correct, Captain. They do look a great deal alike.Were I human, I would call it eerie."

Chakotay's reaction was about as pronounced a one as any of the crew had ever seen from him. The big Navajo's chocolate-colored eyes widened in utter astonishment. 

"You may not know me, but I know you. Hello, Sha, love."Thomasina blushed to the roots of her long blond hair when she remembered that she wasn't dealing with the Chakotay that she'd had a previous relationship with."I am so sorry, Commander. You and he are so much alike. I forgot I wasn't talking with him."

"Would someone mind explaining to me what in the Great Spirit's name is going on here? I am, after all, Voyager's first officer."

Kathryn chuckled at his thunderstruck look."Well, Commander, it appears that that subspace field was a bit more than it appeared to be. It was a doorway into an alternate reality. Chakotay, I'd like to introduce Lieutenant Thomasina Eugenia Paris, Conn Officer of the U.S.S Voyager."

"Oh, Gods,"he moaned,"now I have to keep two of him out of trouble."

"Yep,"Thomasina answered,"In any universe, your life is mine, Big Man."

Tom watched his double with a wide grin on his fine-boned face. Lord, she even sounded as if she'd shared most of his life experiences. 

ONE OF THESE DAYS,he swore,I'M GOING TO TAKE HER HOME AND LET HER SKEWER DAD. 

"She's definitely me,"Tom commented,"No one else would dare remind the Commander of that."

"Tom, Thomasina, May I see you two for a moment?"Janeway motioned to the two. They followed her out into the corridor. "I want you to go down to capture Carlin. I'm sending Thomasina down with you because I'd like to have our suspect back in one piece. I have a feeling if I sent your girlfriend down with you, she'd tear him limb from limb."

Tom, for the first time since B'Elanna's death, issued his typical wry chuckle. "I bet she would. Diane is rather protective of the people she cares about. And she has a nearly-Klingon temper to boot."

"You'll leave in one hour. Be prepared."

The pilot gave her a jaunty salute. "Aye, Captain."

The flight down was spent talking about their respective lives.

"You're kidding me, right?" Tom laughed at the face 'Sina made. "You and our staid First Officer? Locked in a linen closet together? He must have half-killed the students who did that."

"Actually, he got a good laugh off it. You may not believe this, but in his younger years Chakotay actually had a sense of humor."

Tom prepared the shuttle for landing. 

He and his double gasped upon exiting the shuttle. There had obviously been a campsite there, but it had been torn apart. The body of Carlin's accomplice lay in a pool of caked blood next to a several-days-cold fire. 

"What the fuck..." The expletive had barely left Tom's mouth before the two heard a rustleing in the brush behind them. Out stumbled Carlin, barely standing, his skin blanched nearly as pale as Tom's. He collapsed at their feet, a pleading look on his face as he looked up at them. 

"What happened here?" Thomasina asked, kneeling next to the obviously mortally-wounded man.

"Big animals," Carlin gasped, "about the size of a grizly. Looked like a cross between a wolf and a lizard. Ate Fedders, damn near got me, but I ran out into the woods. Chakotay'd prob'ly call it divine retribution. But I don't regret what I did, not one minute of the act. You killed my sister, and you deserved every bit of pain I caused you." Carlin's eyes slid closed, his final breath rattling in his throat.

Tom stood, body shaking. Even to his death, Carlin had espoused the rightness of his raping the young pilot. In the end, revenge had mattered more to him then finding rest for his immortal soul. He fought down the urge to kick Carlin's corpse. The only good that would do, considering he wouldn't feel it, would be to make Tom feel better. And that wasn't good enough reason to kick a dead body.

"Captain," he dimly heard Thomasina report in. "We're heading back. Carlin was dead. Some of the native wildlife got him."

"Acknowledged. Janeway out."

FITTING END FOR A WITCH, Chakotay said to himself.

The next few days passed in relative calm. Until the day Tom asked Diane to spend the night. Her trouble radar went up right away. 

But she had something else in mind.

"Computer, music. Garth Brooks, album In pieces, track 7."

She slowly undressed. Tom's blue eyes became round as saucers. COULD SHE REALLY MEAN THIS, THAT SHE WANTS ME? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO BE WORTHY OF THIS? GOD, PLEASE TELL ME SO I CAN DO IT AGAIN.

Then, he got nervous. What about the scars, the marks his father had left from years of abuse? He didn't think he could bear it if they drove this gentle woman away. Nor could he bear it if she got angry and his father did something to her . Because he knew her well enough to know that if they ever got home Diane would confront Admiral Paris. And it wouldn't be pretty. 

Diane could see the first signs of a panic attack. She'd seen them often enough to."Computer, end music." 

Tom's breathing became ragged. YOU'RE LOSING IT, TOMMY BOY. DO YOU WANNA GET YOURSELF PULLED OFF THE CONN FOR GOOD? YOU WILL IF YOU DON'T PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER. But all the internal dialogue in the universe wasn't going to stop this one. He could already tell it was gonna be a doozy.

"Here, put your head between your knees,"Diane strode over to the replicator and used her own rations to get him a paper bag,"breath into this. Come on, deep breaths, think of a peaceful winter day. Snow falling slowly to the ground outside while you're snug in a blanket in your room." That was an image that had calmed her on more than one occasion. It wasn't helping Tom, though. His breathing became even more harsh, which precipitated an increase in his heart rate. GOOD LORD! was the only thought in her mind. She'd never seen anyone have a panic attack this bad. His whole body was shaking."Diane to Sickbay. I'm having a problem with Tom, Doctor. Could you come down here?"

By the time the Doc got there, Diane was holding Tom. He was shaking in her arms, unable even to speak from the rising terror. 

"How long has he been like this?" The question was spoken in a sharp tone, but she knew that was how Doc showed his concern, so she ignored it.

"Just a couple of minutes. I thought I could handle it. It wasn't that bad at first. I called you as soon as I knew he'd need medical intervention."

Doc's expression became almost kindly as he saw how frightened the woman was."You did the right thing." He filled a hypo with Ostiapropine, approaching the terrified young man carefully. No reason to frighten him anymore than he already was. It connected with his neck with a soft hiss. "He should begin to calm down in a few moments."

Tom's shakes lessened, then, after about five minutes, finally stopped.

"Gods, I'm sorry, Di. You shouldn't have to deal with my shit. You have enough of your own to handle."

Diane took his chin firmly in her hand."As far as I'm concerned, Flyboy, your shit is my shit. Don't you forget it."Then, she smiled to lessen the impact."Now, just what brought this on?"she asked as Doc left."Be honest with me. I already know part of it, you know. You might as well unload the rest. And don't worry about Dear Old Dad. I'm more than a match for that old blowhard."

"It's the scars. I was afraid if you saw how ugly they've made me, you'd walk away. I couldn't stand that."

Diane searched his cerulean gaze with her own before answering."I could never think you ugly. You have the rarest beauty of all. A soul that's been battered, nearly destroyed, and has still managed to be humble and gentle and noble. I don't think I could have survived what you have with mine intact." She kissed him, hard, tongue probing his still-trembling lips. She started the music once again. 

Tom shivered as she drew his shirt over his head. It landed on the floor with a slight ping from the still-attached Combadge. 

Diane began to softly sing along as she pressed kisses up and down the length of his body."Moonlight on canvas, Midnight and wine. Two shadows starting to softly combine. The picture they're painting is one of the heart and to those who have seen it, it's a true work of art."

Never had anyone touched him like this. She whispered the words of the song into his flesh, a lingering caress. Each scar was given her ministrations, some with a light finger, some with her lips, a few even with her questing tongue. ***These scars are part of your beauty, Love. They aren't ugly. They are battle scars, your badges of honor from battles fought and won. I will love them because they are a part of you.***

Tom basked in the glow of her total acceptance. All these years, and he was getting the one thing he'd always needed. He looked askance at her as she drew his pants down.

Diane gasped at the scars running the length of his legs and the burn marks in his most private places, but stifled her surge of anger. It would be misinterpreted, she knew. Besides, the time for anger was later. She took him into her mouth, brushing the puckered marks with her tongue. He gasped and shuddered at the tender stroke across his sensitive skin. "I'm not sure..."he whispered.

***Shh, my love. I will show you.***

Diane straddled him, easing him inside one inch at a time. Then, as the chorus of "The red strokes" played, she thrust him home. 

For Tom, the feeling of being fully engulfed in this woman was wondrous. The song echoed in both of their minds as the rhythm of their thrusts increased. 

Diane felt his trembling as he let forth a shuddering cry of utter ecstasy. His soul merged with hers in that moment of earth-shattering contact. She cried out as that merging brought with it a crashing, mind-blowing wave of pleasure so fierce she thought she'd die of it. Hoped she would, for she knew it would never be this intense again.

Tom collapsed next to her, pulling her into his arms. In the aftermath of that storm came tears. 

***It's allright, love,***Diane Sent,***I'm here. I will always be here.***

"I'm s-sorry,"he said,"I kn-now I sh-shouldn't be c-crying. It's j-just all s-so overw-whelming. I n-never thought anyone c-could ever l-love me. And n-now, you've g-given me s-something I've n-needed for s-so long, something I know I d-don't deserve." 

Diane treasured every one of those words, as well as the awestruck look on the young pilot's handsome face. "I think I loved you from the very first time I saw you, splayed across my TV screen every Sunday night. I couldn't help but admire you. To watch you, busting your ass to redeem yourself after all the shit life had thrown at you, blew my mind. I always wished I could be that strong."

Tom wiped his eyes, swallowing the tears before speaking."You are strong. Just in a different way, is all. I don't know if I'd have the courage to pursue another relationship after losing two spouses the way you have. You aren't afraid to let your guards down, let other people in. I love that about you. If you hadn't let me in, I don't know..."

"You would have survived, just as you always have."

Meanwhile, Harry Kim sat across from Seven of Nine in the Mess Hall, looking decidedly nervous. This was their first official "date", and the fact that Seven was not nervous didn't help any. Or was she? with her typical emotionless expression, it was difficult to tell. Until he saw her fingers tighten reflexively around the tablecloth.

WHY DOES ENSIGN KIM MAKE ME FEEL AS IF I AM IRRELEVANT?Seven asked herself,EXCEPT FOR WHEN I AM WITH HIM. I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE THOSE FACTS. FOR I FEEL AS IF RESISTANCE IS FUTILE WITH HIM.

Harry watched the subtle play of emotions across the ex-Borg's face. He cared for her very deeply, had for a long time. She'd shown hints that she cared about him as well, but he couldn't be sure if those subtle hints were really there or if he was just imagining them. 

GET A GRIP, HARRY. SEVEN ISN'T EVEN SURE OF HER PLACE AMONG THE HUMAN RACE YET. SHE SURE AS HELL ISN'T READY FOR THE RELATIONSHIP YOU HAVE ON YOUR MIND. 

"Ensign Kim, would you be offended if I asked you something?"

Harry's dark eyes sparkled with amusement at the thought that Seven could ever say anything to offend him. 

"Of course not. Ask away."

"I have been experiencing things of a rather..."she trailed off, seemingly searching her vocabulary for the word she was seeking."personal nature. I wish to spend as much time as possible with you. Is this what is called'falling in love'?"

Harry smiled. APPARENTLY, SHE'S GOT IT AS BAD AS I DO.

"That's part of it. Listen, Seven, I care very deeply about you. I just don't want you jumping into waters too deep for you to swim through."

Seven hadn't heard the metaphor before, but she understood the meaning of it. 

"These feelings... they lead to the act of copulation, do they not?"

Harry looked as if he was about to fall to the floor, so dumbstruck was he by that question. Then he gathered his wits about him in order to reply.

"Yes, they quite often do. Are you saying, Seven, that you find me attractive?"

"I believe that I would phrase it that way, yes. But it is more than that. I wish not only to copulate with you, I wish to stay with you after we have done so. I wish to establish a permanent affiliation with you."

SHE WANTS TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME. WHOA, BOY, ARE YOU SURE SHE'S READY FOR THIS? HELL, ARE YOU SURE *YOU'RE* READY FOR THIS?

"I'd like that as well, Seven. But I really think we should get to know one another better first. The best romantic relationships often start as friendships."

Tom and Diane walked into the Mess Hall at that moment. They were holding hands and smiling, as if there was no one else present in the universe except them. Seven, naive as she was, knew immediately the nature of their relationship.

"I wish us to be like Lieutenant Paris and Ms. Smith. They appear to have deep feelings toward each other."

Harry turned and looked where she was pointing. Sure enough, his best friend and Q's widow were sitting next to each other at an empty table, staring deeply into each other's eyes as they were talking.

SO SUDDEN, Harry thought, WELL, I GUESS I SHOULDN'T BE SO SURPRISED. DIANE HAS MANY OF B'ELANNA'S PERSONALITY TRAITS. IF TOM WAS GOING TO FALL FOR ANYONE SO SOON AFTER HER DEATH, DIANE IS THE ONE IT WOULD MOST LIKELY BE.

Then, he looked over at another near-empty table. Chakotay and Thomasina were locked in a pose similar to Diane and Tom. 

Harry chuckled wryly to himself. Ever since finding herself here, 'Sina had managed to bring a little sunshine into every life she'd touched. Unlike Tom, she didn't feel a need to bury her tender heart under a thousand self-defense mechanisms.

I GUESS IT'S A WOMAN THING. THOMASINA HAS HAD A NEARLY IDENTICAL UPBRINGING AND SPENT TIME IN PRISON HERSELF, YET SHE'S SOMEHOW STRONGER THAN THE MAN WHO IN THIS UNIVERSE IS HER. WHAT IS IT ABOUT WOMEN THAT MAKES THEIR HEARTS SO STRONG? BUT COMMANDER CHAKOTAY? THOMASINA IS LIKE TOM IN THAT WAY, AT LEAST. SHE LOVES A CHALLENGE.

"You were with me in this other universe, 'Sina?" Chakotay's dark eyes twinkled with laughter."How in the universe did that happen?"

"We were victims of an Academy prank, Commander. It started during my second year there. You were a guest instructor that year, and I had ended up in your Starfleet tactics class. A couple of students noticed how I looked at you, and locked us in a closet together during a Frat party that you had been assigned to chaperone. Needless to say, we had quite a lengthy conversation while we were in there. I asked you out, and you accepted, on the condition that I wouldn't tell my family. Let me tell you, Dad found out three days later, and when he did, I got the lecture of my life about worthy choices for an Admiral's daughter. Eugene Paris is *not* one to mince words. I knew I was going to get a serious whipping for it, but I didn't care,"her blue eyes clouded over the same way Tom's usually did when the Admiral's name came up in conversation,"I liked you, and I wasn't going to let that Starfleet son-of-a-bitch tell me who was worthy of me and who wasn't. So I went out with you anyway. When I ended up with the Maquis a year later, you and I had had a serious fight. You were so angry with me, it clouded your judgment. But when the Captain came and got me out of the pen, I saw you again on Voyager. You apologized to me, and we picked up where we left off,"Thomasina's eyes filled with tears,"My dad nearly beat me to death when he found out I was going to the Maquis. But he didn't understand, prob'ly never could have. I had to find you, Sha, had to tell you all that was in my heart. You died six months ago in my world, died to save my life. Gods, Sha, how I've missed you."

Chakotay wrapped his arms around this woman, forgetting for the moment who she was. Then, he remembered.

WHAT IN THE GREAT SPIRIT'S NAME AM I DOING? THIS IS NO MORE THAN TOM PARIS IN A WOMAN'S BODY. That thought was immediately reviewed. MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, I'VE BEEN WRONG ABOUT PARIS ALL THIS TIME. MAYBE, INSTEAD OF SOME COLOSSAL FUCK-UP, HE'S JUST A KID THAT HAS NEVER HAD LIFE CUT HIM A BREAK, A KID WHO'S HAD TO FIGHT FOR EVERYTHING HE'S EVER GOTTEN AND HAS THE SELF-DEFENSE MECHANISMS TO SHOW FOR IT. MAYBE IT'S TIME I GAVE THE GUY ANOTHER CHANCE.

"Look at me, slobbering all over you. Gods, I'm sorry, Sha. I haven't cried like this since Mom died five years ago. Dad always told me I shouldn't cry. 'Starfleet officers don't cry when faced with adversity' is what he always said. Usually after he'd beaten the snot out of me."

Chakotay caressed her curly blond hair."Then your dad was a brute, and ignorant besides. Spirits, how I wish I were back in the Alpha Quadrant so I could beat the living daylights out of him and let him see how it feels."

Thomasina looked up at him, a challenging expression suddenly entering her eyes."I wish you could have told Tom that."

The big Navajo started at the statement. "What in space are you talking about, 'Sina?"

"It's because I'm a woman, isn't it? Does gender make all that much of a difference? Inside, I'm still the Paris you know so well. Why can't you find it in your heart to understand him? He's hurting, Sha, and he needs this... this caring just as much as I do, if not more. He needs you to be his friend. But all you've ever been to him is someone to ride his back all the time. Just like Tuvok."

Chakotay drew back from her, taking her chin tenderly between his thumb and forefinger. "Do you think I like pushing Tom the way I do? I do it because I have to, because it's part of my job. Gods, 'Sina, I know what he's been through better than almost anyone here, 'cept maybe Harry or Diane. I...just don't know how to help him in a way he'd understand or be able to accept."

"Just be there for him, Sha. Eventually he'll learn he can trust you. When that comes, then you'll be able to truly help him."

'Sina glanced over to see Harry and Seven leave, tentatively holding hands. She smiled devilishly before calling,"I'll want details in the morning, Ensign."

Harry blushed, then grinned as he realized he was being teased. 

Seven was not entirely sure how to proceed as she stepped into Harry's quarters. But she knew how she wanted to. So she did something she'd seen Diane do to Tom. Grasping Harry's chin between her hands, she placed her lips gently on his. 

Harry gasped. The kiss was faltering, untutored, but every bit of feeling Seven possessed was contained in it. Her lips trailed down his neck, planting furtive brushes against his skin as they traveled downward. Harry answered in turn.

Seven's blue eyes widened in amazement at the totally new and unfamiliar sensations coursing through her body. It was one thing to have the knowledge through the Borg's collective consciousness of what Harry was doing to her, but it was another altogether to be experiencing it herself. A moan escaped her unbidden. 

That moan drove Harry right past his inhibitions. He removed her catsuit completely, his awed gaze worshipping her flawless form. Her breasts, while large, were firm and tight. He took one of those pink-nippled beauties into his mouth.

Seven's breath left her completely. The feelings flooding her increased exponantially."Harry,"she sighed. Never had his given name sounded so sweet to his ears as it had being whispered by an enraptured Seven."What are these feelings? They are strange to me, frightening, and yet I do not wish you to stop."

"This is arousal, Seven. What I'm going to do next may hurt you a little, but I'm going to make you feel good before I do that." 

Harry buried his face in the V between her thighs, his tongue finding the little pink bud between the folds of feminine flesh easily. He lapped gently.

Seven nearly arched off the bed as Harry tongued her clitoris. The feelings were sharp now, almost enough to blow that Borg composure once and for all. They were causing her to spiral out of herself. Then, she slammed back into her body with all the force of a twentieth-century freight train. The sensations crested, shaking her body with tremors of an orgasm so fierce she feared it would wipe out her sanity for a few moments. She let out a gargling cry of utter shock, followed by Harry's name screamed so loudly it almost blew his eardrums out.

Harry was a bit shaken by her reactions. He'd not known she'd be that responsive. But he went on, lowering Seven to the bunk once again, almost reverently. He eased his way into her slowly, trying to cause her as little pain as possible. 

Seven felt a slight tearing, followed by a sharp pain. Then, the pain faded and left in its wake a wonderful feeling of being filled body and soul with a man she'd spend her whole life with if he'd allow it. The sensation of arousal built once more, a maelstrom of pleasure she wasn't expecting to experience. "Harry, Lieutenant Paris was right. Love is *not* irrelevant." She said it almost as if she had just discovered the truth of it. "I think I may be experiencing that emotion now, here with you."

Harry smiled and increased the tempo of his thrusts, wanting to give this woman everything, body and soul, that he possessed. His world exploded into a thousand pinpoints of color, causing him to cry out her name.

Again, the whirlwind exploded behind Seven's drooping eyelids. Her mind sent out a telepathic cry of pleasure so sharp and clear every telepath on the ship was able to feel her climax.

Diane smiled softly into the darkness as she lay beside her sleeping lover. Seven's passion had stirred another interlude between Tom and herself. He'd fallen asleep in her arms, blond hair matted with the sweat of their exertions. I HOPE HE STILL FEELS THE SAME IN THE MORNING, Diane said to herself.

Suddenly, Tom began mumbling in his sleep.

************************************************************************

It was his first day here at Auckland. All Tom wanted to do was stay out of sight, unnoticed, hopefully for the entire time he was here. He'd heard horror stories about prison, though of course Federation prisons were supposed to be considerably gentler than their twentieth-century counterparts. But, still, unpopular inmates did occasionally end up dead. Or sometimes worse. Sometimes they were...his mind shied away from that word. He hadn't even been able to think that word for 7 years without starting to get the shakes. Yes, sometimes they were...used before they were killed. And God only knows he hadn't done much to make himself popular. 

He'd not had the easiest day. Being the new guy of course meant getting the shit assignments. Literally. He'd had to clean the 'freshers. It was amazing what kind of filth a few hundred overworked bodies could produce. It was with relief that he retreated to his cell after completing his duty assignment to take a shower. 

He let the hot water run over his tired body, sighing as it eased his strained muscles. But the water hid a sound he'd have heard had he been using the sonic booth. It was the sound of two other prisoners creeping stealthily into his room. 

The first blow took him completely by surprise. It shattered his jaw like a sledgehammer, leaving him seeing stars.

Tom shuddered as he saw the inmate yank his pants down. The man was huge, the biggest man he'd ever seen. Tom measured the size of the penis with his eyes. That thing would almost inevitably cause some internal damage. 

Tom started screaming, working the sound out past the pain with his broken jaw. The guard came running, but when he saw the source of the sound, he just turned his back.

Tom screamed again as the beefy prisoner thrust into him, unable to fully comprehend through that explosion of agony what was happening to him. 

After what seemed like forever, the two brutes had finished. They left their prey, broken, sobbing, bleeding, lying in his own filth on the floor of his cell.

No one came for him until the next afternoon, and then only because no one wanted to piss off Admiral Paris. Not even that monster would be able to live down not defending his own son from the boy's fellow inmates. The doctor fixed him up, and he was moved to solitary that night. No way were they going to open up a can of worms the officials at the penal colony would never be able to close again. 

************************************************************************

Diane held Tom's trembling form tightly. He'd never fully awakened, but she'd been able to piece together enough of the nightmare from his incoherent ramblings to know what it had been about.

HOW COULD THEY JUST TURN THEIR BACKS LIKE THAT? NOT EVEN THE WARDENS FROM MY TIME WERE THAT BRUTAL. 

She was horrified, but at the same time she was angry as Hell. There were going to be a few tough questions posed by her when she got back to Earth, that was certain. 

Tom awakened a few hours later to a vicious pounding in his chest , the afteraffects of one of the worst nightmares he'd had in weeks. Diane was curled up on her right side next to him, her arm wrapped protectively around his waist. She woke as well when she felt the trembling of the flesh her arm rested against

"Gotta use the bathroom," Tom's voice was shaky, the dream still fresh in his mind. Diane let go. 

He rose to his feet, but immediatly fell to knees too weak to bear his weight. She put her shoulder under his arm.

"Easy does it," she whispered, "I've got you.."

**********************************************************************************************

Thomasina jerked suddenly awake in Chakotay's quarters. The first officer mumbled something incoherent before waking himself.

"What's wrong, 'Sina? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Something's wrong with Tom, Sha. I have to go. I'll be back as soon as I possibly can." She grazed his cheek with her lips before leaving.

"Wait a minute, I'll come with you. After all the things I've done wrong by Paris, maybe it's time I do something right."

Thomasina smiled wryly, remembering a thought Janeway had told her she'd had when she'd come to get her from prison. WHAT DO YOU KNOW? MAYBE HE CAN BE TAUGHT.

***********************************************************************************************

Diane waited quietly outside the bathroom door, hearing distinctly the sounds of her lover being violently ill. The door buzzed. 

"Who is it?" 

"It's Thomasina and Commander Chakotay. May we come in?"

"Sure. Let me make sure Tom is decent."

Tom popped his head out the bathroom door, his skin looking faintly green. He nodded, the motion weary.

'Sina entered, hand firmly gripping Chakotay's in a grip Diane would bet was a bit painful. But the Indian didn't even voice the least complaint.

"Di, can I talk to Tommy alone?"

Diane gave her a wary look, causing 'Sina to cluck her toungue. "Come on, Diane. I *am* Tommy. If you can't trust me with him, who can you trust? Do I look like the type that enjoys incest? That's much more my father's taste, thank you very much. Besides, I've got almost more than I can handle right here," she gazed adoringly up at Chakotay. Diane thought she was going to have to shove Tom out of the way and make use of the facilities herself until that sickeningly sweet gaze was replaced by that ever-familiar teasing grin.

Diane nodded almost as wearily as Tom had moments before, then watched as the girl led him into their sleeping area.

"What's wrong, Tommy?"

Tom shook his head, still frightened nearly out of his wits by the events he'd just relived in his nightmare."Please, make them stop. They're hurting me! They aren't supposed to touch me like that!"

'Sina took his chin in her hand."Who's hurting you, Tom? Please, tell me."

Tom dropped to his bottom on the floor and began rocking, back and forth, back and forth."Can't tell. They'll just do it again, then kill me to keep anyone else from finding out."

Thomasina looked him straight in the eye, the famous Paris stubborn streak rearing its head."Thomas Eugene Paris, you listen to me. We are stuck on a starship in the Delta Quadrant, 70,00 light years away from those bad men who hurt you. You *will*tell me what happened, 'cause if you don't, I'll bring Harry in here and you can taint he and Seven's innocent young ears. And don't think I won't. I am *you*, which means I possess every bit of your pig-headedness. Now, spit it out."

Tom awakened the rest of the way at that point."Can you get Diane first? Considering that I am sleeping with her, I think she has a right to know."

'Sina nodded at Diane through the door.

"It was the first day of my sentence at the Auckland Penal Colony. I'd just finished my work detail, and all I'd wanted to do was take a shower, a real water shower, and get a few hours of sleep. I was enjoying the water running over my very tired body so much I didn't even hear them. There were two of them, one Maquis, one 'Fleet. They caught me by surprise. One of'em punched me in the face, broke my jaw. Then..."He trailed off, having to swallow a mouthful of bile before forcing the word out of his mouth, "They raped me. I screamed for help. Guard came in, took one look at who was making all the noise, and ran the other way." Tears sprang to his sparkling blue eyes. "They were s'posed to protect me. Later, I found out that he thought I deserved it. *Deserved* it?! *No one* deserves that. Threatened to kill me if I ever told. Hell, like Dad would've given two shits anyway." A wry tilting of the lips. "Dad prob'ly would've joined in."

"Dad's an ignorant prick,"Thomasina snorted. "I always thought so anyway."

Diane's expression turned dangerous, making her look more like B'Elanna than he'd ever thought possible. "I'm going to shoot me few prison guards when we get back. Put a few rounds right up their asses. Maybe that'll raise their level of intelligence a few notches."

"Are you implying that prison guards naturally have their brains in their posteriers?" The question came from 'Sina. 

"Only telling the truth. Ask anyone who's ever been on the wrong side of a law enforcement official."

"Don't get yourself in trouble over me, Diane. I'm not worth it."

"Not *worth* it? Goddammit, Tom, I better never hear you say you're not worth it. You are my *life* now! I love you!" Diane paused, realizing what she had just said.

Tom had apparantly heard it as well, for his head shot up so he could look her in the eye. "You...love me?"

Diane's anger faded at the unsureness in that voice. She caressed his cheek gently. "Yes, Tom Paris, I love you. With every breath in my body and every beat of my heart I love you. I would throw myself in front of an overloading phaser for you. I would even face down your father for you."

"She'd probably win, too,"Thomasina chuckled, "Diane is the only woman I've ever met in my life who's more stubborn than 'Lana or me. Dad wouldn't have a snowball's chance in Hell against her."

Tom chuckled thorugh the last of his tears. "Dad would be hard-pressed aginst you, too, 'Sina." He turned back to Diane. "Well, in the words of Madonna, where do we go from here?"

"We go forward, Tom. It's the only direction we *can* go."

He nodded, still shaken, but with Diane's reassurance of her acceptance of him, he knew he could survive. That wasn't to say it would be easy. It would be far from that. But make it he would, if only to give this wonderful woman who didn't even know how beautiful she was something worth having. 

Diane hummed to herself in the bathtub as she got ready for breakfast. It was only 0450 and breakfast was still two hours away, but she knew she wasn't getting anymore sleep tonight. The humming became full-throated singing as she realized how well the song fit the man she loved so much.

He loved him like he was

the last Dad on earth

gave him everything he ever had

He'd break his spirit down

then come lovin' up on him

give a liitle, then take it back.

He'd tell him 'bout his dreams,

Daddy'd just shoot 'em down.

Lord, he loved to make him cry.

"You're crazy for believing you'll ever leave the ground."

He said, "Only angels know how to fly."

But with a broken wing,

he still sings

He keeps an eye on the sky.

with a broken wing,

He carries his dreams,

Man ,you ought to see him fly.

Tom stood in the doorway of the bathroom, leaning for support against the frame. Tears streamed from his blue eyes. By God, she understood. Understood down to the most minute detail the forces that drove him. And yet she still stayed with him, not out of some misguided sense of pity, but because she truly wanted him. It was almost more than his fragile heart could contain, this all-encompassing passion she had for him. So he answered her in the only way he could. In music. He keyed in the command, not wanting her to know the song he was using until it played. 

Dancing in the dark,

middle of the night.

Taking your heart,

and holding it tight.

emotional touch,

touchin' my skin

and askin' you to do what you've been doing all over again.

Oh it's a beautiful thing,

don't think I can keep it all in.

I just gotta let you know

what it is that won't let me go.

It's your love.

it just does something to me,

sends a shock right through me,

I can't get enough.

And if you wonder 

about the spell I'm under,

Oh, it's your love.

It was Diane's turn to cry as that sweet, emotionaly-charged tenor reached her ears. How Tom had understood the way an old country-western love song could touch her heart was something she couldn't figure out. Especially when the second verse came up.

Better than I was

More than I am.

and all of this happened,

by taking your hand.

Who I am now,

is who I wanted to be.

Now that we're together,

I'm stronger than ever,

I'm happy and free

Oh, it's a beautiful thing.

Don't think I can keep it all in.

If you ask me why I've changed,

all I gotta do is say your sweet name.

Their voices combined on the second chorus, Diane's eyes streaming with this statement of how much her love had meant to him. It was almost like making love with their hearts instead of their bodies, this joining of their voices in song when neither could find the words to say how they felt any other way. She hadn't known he had the ability to translate music into feeling that she did, that knack for finding a song to fit just about any moment. Then the love-making went from emotional to physical, each note crashing like waves over their entangled bodies. 

"Diane," Tom whispered when he came up for air, "I love you. I don't say that to many people. I almost didn't say it to B'Elanna. I want to ask you something, but I'm kinda scared to 'cause I don't know how you'll answer and I don't think I could handle you saying no. And I know you might, it being so soon after losing Q and all. "

Diane knew right away what he was getting at, and smiled beneath his lips "Yes, Thomas Eugene Paris, I will marry you and make you the most ecstatic man in the universe for the rest of your life."

Tom gaped in amazment for a moment, then kissed his new fiancee fiercly. "I think we better get dressed. I wanna inform the captain and tell her I want her to perform the ceremony before you have time to think about it and change your mind."

Captain Janeway started when the the ready-room door's signal buzzed. "Come,"she answered, almost languidly.

"Captain, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Kathryn smiled, senseing immediately her pilot's excitement. "Certainly, Tom. Why don't you have a seat?" She gestured toward the empty chair on the other side of her desk. Tom took it, if only to keep from pacing.

"Captain, Diane and I have just gotten engaged. I want you to perform our wedding ceremony."

Her smile grew even wider, as if she had some information he didn't. Then, a burst of glorious, bubbling laughter gushed forth. 

"What's so funny, Captain?"

"I don't know if you realize this or not, Lieutenant, but you are the third crewmember to come to me with that request today. Do you know what month this is back on Earth? No? Well, I'll fill you in. Back on Earth, it's June. The month that has seen the most weddings ever since the wedding was invented."

'Th-three?" Tom stuttered in shock. "Who are the other lucky couples?"

"Well, Chakotay came to me earlier to ask me to marry he and Thomasina next month. Five minutes later, Seven walks in, a rather besotted-looking Ensign Kim in tow. I'm not sure whose idea it was, but I said I would since there seemed to be mutual agreement by both parties. Now you and Diane. I'm not sure whether to be worried about crew discipline or thrilled for crew morale. I'm just happy to see that most of you have finally come to terms with being stuck out here and are settling into your new lives."

Tom suddenly burst out laughing himself. He'd seen Harry and Seven coming for at least two months. After all, Harry was obviously in love with the woman who was once Borg, and Seven showed all the classic signs of being as close to in love as her burgeoning humanity would allow. Chakotay and 'Sina, though, that one had taken him a bit by surprise. Until he remembered his own torrid affair with the first officer not too long before, back when they'd thought the Captain and B'Elanna had been lost to them and they'd had nowhere else to turn but to each other. Chakotay had come to understand the emotionally-wounded helmsman well, and respect his tenacity. And his passionate nature. So was it really all that surprising that he'd want someone with the same passion, the same understanding of life's occasional brutality, to be his lifelong mate? He just couldn't wait to see the looks on the faces of Chakotay's family when he brought that belegaana woman home. 

"Captain, I think there's something here you oought to see," the voice belonged to Commander Chakotay. 

"On my way."

Chakotay explained to Janeway about the phenomenon on the viewscreen. "We found this wormhole about 15 minutes ago. Harry's sent a probe inside. If it's stable and goes where our sensors say it goes, when we reach the other side we'll be six months from home."

Cheers erupted from the bridge crew. But among all those cheering people, one man stood in stony silence. Diane took his hand, squeezing it gently as if by doing so she could give some of her strength to the younger one. But she knew as well as Tom did how difficult this homecoming would be for both of them. 

"Don't worry, beloved," she whispered, "I will not let him hurt you ever again."

A half-hour later, the readings from the probe came back, eliciting another round of cheers. The news spread like wildfire through this ship that had essentialy become a small community in itself.

"Captain," Chakotay said, "I'm sure I speak for all three couples here when I say the ceremonies should be performed before we get home. It would be the perfect closure for our long journey."

Kathryn Janeway beamed. "Commander, you are absolutely right. I suggest all six of you get started right away. Weddings aren't the easiest things to stage."

"Captain," Seven approached her cautiously, an almost shy look in her crystalline blue eyes. "If it is acceptable to the others, I would like for all of us to do this in one ceremony."

"Of course," Diane grinned at this beautiful woman who had become a dear friend. "As long as you'll be maid-of-honor for my part of this gala."

"I would be honored."

Thomasina nodded her acceptance as well, grinning like the cheshire cat and offering her own services as maid-of-honor for Seven. 

Tom put dark thoughts of his return out of his mind as preperations for the wedding consumed his friends. He laughed again as he heard in his mind Janeway's pained groan at having to coordinate such a huge event. It wasn't every day a captain had to perform three weddings in one day. Then, he remembered his own groan as his fiancee had insisted on him wearing a traditional black tuxedo with tails instead of his dress uniform. He could already fell the itch he knew the synthetic materials were going to cause. 

Two days later, they had passed through the wormhole and were back in the Alpha Quadrant again, only six months form Earth. Everyone had contacted their families and friends. Even Captain Janeway was beaming as she read the communique Mark had sent her. It turned out that the Dear Jane letter he'd sent her awhile back had been pointless. The woman he'd married had turned out to be a total shrewish bitch. They'd had a big, blow out fight six months before and she'd gone home to her mother. Three weeks later, he'd received the divorce papers. "Good riddance to bad rubbish," his letter had said, "I will await your return with bated breath, my beloved captain. Yours truly, Mark." 

When the day of the wedding arrived, they were in orbit around Vulcan. Tuvok had gone to see his wife and family, but would return in time for the ceremony. Tom still hadn't heard from his father, but there had been one letter from his sister Lynn congratulating him on his upcoming nuptials and grousing at how he'd beaten her to the altar. Lynn was the next youngest of the Paris family and only three years his senior. 

Two o' clock came to find three extremely nervous grooms standing at the end of the aisle. 

"Chakotay, stop fidgeting ," Tom whispered, "Your family is so huge you ought to be old hand at this by now. The only thing you have to be nervous about is when Lynn, Angie, and Sarah find out about 'Sina. My sisters tend to be outrageously protective. In fact, if I'd been born first, I probably wouldn't be alive to get married."

"Attending your relative's weddings doesn't prepare you for your own, Paris. It doesn't help that my family is going to ream me about Thomasina being fifteen years younger than me, either." 

Then, all talking ceased as the first strains of "The Wedding March" echoed in the suddenly-silent room. 

Harry gasped as he saw Seven coming down the aisle, dressed head-to-toe in unrelieved white. Her gown was white lace over satin, with a trailing hem of sequinned netting. Her veil was also of a fine tulle, long enough to brush against her hips as she walked. 

The ceremony went by in a haze for them, Seven gazing into Harry's eyes through the veil, holding that stare like a lifeline. But the words she spoke sounded deeps in her spirit she'd not known existed. Suddenly, the emotion of this sacred rite hit her like a warp nacelle. For the first time in eighteen years, tears welled up in her eyes. 

Thomasina had chosen a more casual route, wearing a dress that clung to every luscious curve. It flared out after leaving her hips and dropped in a straight line to mid-calf, with a walking slit to her hip on the right hand side. Instead of a veil, she wore a jaunty ivory hat that was tilted slight to one side to make room for her extriodinairily upswept coif. She gave Chakotay a saucy wink, and he grinned in answer. 

SO MUCH LIKE TOM, he thought to himself, CAN'T RESIST TEASING ME EVEN DURING WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE OF THE MOST SERIOUS OCCASIONS OF OUR LIVES. 

And then there was one groom standing at the end of that aisle, looking positively splendiforous in his tails with a top hat cocked at a rakish angle atop his blond head. 

Diane kept her eyes pinned on the man standing at the altar as she entered the room. Even after two previous marriages, butterflies fluttered around her intestinal tract with a fierocity she hadn't experienced since her high school prom . She lifted the train of her long satin gown so she wouldn't trip over it 

Tom's mouth dropped in amzement. Was this beauty the same gamine whose face had been the last thing he'd seen before passing out that fateful day in Sandrine's? The sweetheart neckline and illusion netting at the bust of her gown accetuated the enlarged bustline she'd gained from giving birth to three children. Its flowing lines also hid her six-months-pregnant waistline. 

"Repeat after me," Kathryn started, but didn't have to continue. Tom looked his bride straight in the eye.

"I, Thomas Eugene Paris, do take thee, Diane Lynn Smith, to be my lawfully wedded wife. In sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, forsaking all others, to love, honor and cherish you, 'til death do us part." His voice shook a bit at the beginning, then soared out clear and strong.

Diane took his gloved hands in hers, her eyes misting as she spoke her vows. "I, Diane Lynn Smith, do take thee, Thomas Eugene Paris, to be my lawfully wedded husband. In sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, forsaking all others, to love, honor, and cherish you,'til death do us part."

"Attention, everyone," Janeway called as the guests gathered for the reception, "Thomasina Paris-Chakotay has requested that Mr and Mrs. Paris have the first dance of this reception to a very special song from Mrs. Paris's world and time. Mrs. Seven Kim will be singing it, also at Mrs. Paris-Chakotay's request."

Seven's warm, rich voice rang out like a nightengale over the enthralled crowd. 

He finally gave in to his friend's girlfriend

When she said, "there's someone you should meet."

In the crowded restaurant way 'cross town,

he waited impatiently.

Then she walked in and their eyes met

And they both stared 

And right then and there everyone else disappeared.

But one boy, one girl.

Two hearts beating wildly.

To put it mildly, it was love at first sight.

He smiled, and she smiled.

And they knew right away, 

this was the day they'd waited for all their lives.

And for a moment the whole world revolved around 

one boy, amd one girl.

And in no time at all they were standing there 

in the front of a little church.

Among their friends and family,.

repeating those sacred words.

The preacher said, "son, kiss your bride."

and he raised her veil. 

And like the night they met, time just stood still.

For one boy, one girl.

Two hearts beating wildly.

To put it mildly, it was love at first sight.

He smiled, and she smiled,

And they knew right away, 

this was the day they'd waited for all their lives.

And for a moment he whole world revolved around 

one boy, and one girl. 

Diane laid her head on Tom's shoulder as Seven laid out in that song all her hopes and dreams for her future. Though Tom was terrified his father had passed that abusive taint on to him, Diane knew the young pilot, inside and out. There wasn't a cruel bone in the man's body. As large as her family already was by 24th century standards, she wanted to bear Tom's children, wanted to hold a little moppet with a headful of golden curls and those adorable dimples. At her heart, she'd always been a mother. And after that first stormy marriage with Joel that had produced only one child after four years of trying, she felt doubly blessed for her twins and this little one to come. But it still didn't make that wish for children by this glorious young buck any less strong. 

The next day was punctuated by their first sight in five years of Earth on their view screen. Tom grew more morose the closer they got to home. For each mile closer meant one second less before he had to face his father again. Diane would have been excited but for her husband's dark mood. She'd never been Earth-side since coming to this time. She was more than eager to see what changes had taken place on her birthworld in four hundred years. 

"Starfleet Command to Voyager."

Janeway smiled as she answered the hail. "Captain Janeway here."

Admiral Crighton's face appeared on the screen, a man in his mid-fifities with brown hair that was graying at the temples. "We are glad to have you all back, Captain. Did you find that Maquis ship?"

"Glad to be back, Admiral. Not only did we find it, most of the Maquis aboard have become integrated with my crew."

Crighton smiled, causeing Janeway to frown in puzzlement. That was not at all the reaction she'd expected.

"That was what I was kind of hoping would happen, Captain. Now I have an excuse to pardon them all and offer them commisions. It has already been decided that Mr. Paris will be allowed to remain free on time served. Not only that, but on the basis of the letters given to us by the Romulan Commander a year ago, he will be allowed to keep his commission. No sense wasting a pilot with his talent. Starfleet needs more like him."

Kathryn smiled broadly at the news. "That's wonderful, Admiral. By the way, We've had several marriages aboard. One of them involves another hotshot pilot you might want to find a place for."

Thomasina stood up, stretching herself to her full 5' 9" of height. The admiral's eyes widened, but he showed no more reaction than that. "Admiral Crighton, I would appreciate it if you'd give Dad a message for me. Tell him, 'You wanted to get rid of one Paris, but now you're stuck with two. Have a nice day.' I'd like that."

Crighton's somewhat outrageous sense of humor replaced his shock at seeing a female Tom Paris standing in front of him. "So would I. Paris is a stuffy bastard. He could use a good shaking up."

Kathryn had to stifle a giggle as she conjured up an image of the all-too-proper admiral's expression when he found out he'd suddenly acquired another daughter. "We'll see you in a few hours. Janeway out."

Tom was deep in thought as he approached the transporter room. He knew Diane wanted him to make peace with his father so they could go on with their lives, but he wasn't sure he was capable of doing so. The fear was gone, had been for years, but there was still a lot of anger there. Admiral Paris had been a wonderful administrator, but the qualities which had made him so good at his job had made him a lousy father. The diplomatic skills necessary to raise a family were ones he simply didn't have. 

A crowd waited outside Starfleet Headquarters for the crew of their long-lost ship, most of them friends or family of said crew. Tom's mood brightened immediately when he spotted a tall, slender woman with a headful of mahogany-colored curls standing in front.

"Lynn!" He called his sister's name, the smile that reached his eyes, the one Diane wished she saw more often, gracing his face. 

The woman raced over, almost knocking Tom over with her exuberant hug. "God, I've missed you, Little Brother. And who's this gorgeous woman hanging on your arm?" She suddenly noticed the three children grouped around them and Diane's obviously pregnant belly. "Looks like you've been busy, Tom."

Tom blushed. "I know what you're thinking, Lynn, but you're wrong. Diane's been married twice before. She lost her second husband six months ago."

"Diane, I want to ask you something. Those kids look like the pictures I've seen in Dad's office of one of Captain Picard's least favorite beings."

Diane smiled. "The two youngest ones? Yes, those are Q's kids. Captain Picard was the one who performed our wedding ceremony. Get him to tell you about it sometime. It's a pretty funny story."

Four year old Quentin looked up at his new aunt, hazel eyes sparkling with mischeif for the first time in months. "Is it true that you got upset at my new Daddy 'cause he got married first?"

Lynn shot the child an expression of mock fury, then burst out laughing. "What intelligance comes from the mouthes of babes. Now I know Q was your Daddy. He's the only person I can think of who'd have the nerve to ask a question like that."

"I see you've returned, Son," that rough voice blew a blast of cold up Tom's spine. But the words weren't spoken in that harsh tone he'd expected. Instead, his father sounded warm, almost welcoming. 

MAYBE I CAN DO THIS, Tom thought.

"Yeah, Dad, I'm back. And I've gotten married, too. Dad, this is Ensign Diane Smith Paris, my wife. She was granted a field commision by the captain and has been Voyager's nurse for the last six months. And these are Lucia, Quentin and Alanis, her children."

Owen cleared his throat. Having Tom missing for five years had given him a lot of time to think. He wanted to apologize to his badly-mistreated son, but had no idea where to begin. "Thomas, I know I wasn't the best father in the world, and I wouldn't blame you if you hated me for the rest of my life. I've made a lot of stupid mistakes in my life, but I think the worst was allowing Anna to talk me into having children that I knew I didn't have the skills to raise properly. I love all of you, don't get me wrong, and I wouldn't trade any of you for all the latinum on Ferenginaar, but I would think things would have been better if I'd insisted on adopting all of you out. I'm sorry for the things I've done to you. I wish I could give back all the years and the innocence I've stolen from you, but I can't. The best I can do is offer you the years ahead with the father you should have had all along. I love you, Thomas. Can we start over again, try to do things right this time?"

A lump formed in the pilot's throat. I'M NOT GONNA CRY, he promised himself. But, oh, Lord, it was hard not to. Those were the words he'd needed to hear from this man who gave life to him for so long. They swept all the bitterness, anger, and pain away the moment they were spoken and left in their wake a peace he'd not had in twenty years. He couldn't keep that promise. Tears streamed in rivers down those pale cheeks, and it took him a moment to compose himself before he could answer.

"Dad, I don't know what to say to you right now. I've needed to hear you say that for so long, and now that you have, I'm not sure how to feel about it. I had so much anger inside me, and it damn near tore my fucking soul apart. Part of me wants to tell you to go fuck yourself, but I know that's just that wounded twelve-year-old kid that hated you so badly for what you did. I've been that boy for fourteen years. But I have a wife to think of now, and a family. If I can't put this behind me, come to terms with it, I'm going to end up just like you were then. I can't do that to them. So I think I should listen to that other part of me, the sane, rational part that says, 'This is your father, your children's grandfather. It's about time you grew the fuck up and forgave him'. So that's what I have to do. It won't be easy for either one of us, but I know that the best thing to do is put all this behind us and start fresh. So I will."

Owen Paris was crying damn near as hard as Tom when he took his son into his arms and held on for all he was worth.

Thomasina and Chakotay strolled over just then, causing Tom to remember something. 

"Oh, Dad, We picked up someone in the Delta Quadrant. She's from an alternate reality, but she's blood kin to us just the same. This is Thomasina Eugenia Paris. In her universe, she's your youngest daughter. And she's *me*."

Owen stared in open-mouthed shock. "I'm not sure what to say. I get my son back and gain a fourth daughter, all in one day."

Thomasina had been all prepared to rip the old man to shreds. Instead, a smile crept onto her plucky features.

"Chakotay, say hello to your father-in-law. Dad, this is my husband of three months, Commander Chakotay, First Officer of the U.S.S. Voyager. I have more news for you. In seven months, you're gonna be a grandpa."

Owen smiled wide enough to show a mouthful of even, white teeth. "Grandfather I can do. I get to give the kid back when he pisses me off."

"Dad!!!" That came from both Paris's at the same time.

Kathryn beamed down last. There, three rows back, holding a huge sign with her name on it, stood a lithe, dark haired man of about thirty or so. He wore a grin that made his gold-green eyes sparkle.

"Mark!" She ran over to him, throwing herself into his arms in a quite un-Captain-like manner.

Mark kissed her firmly on the mouth for all to see before saying, "Lord, I've missed you. I'm going to marry you as soon as I can get a church."

"You bet you will. I'm never going to let you be in a position to send me a 'Dear Jane' letter ever again. Besides, I want kids, and I'm not getting any younger."

Seven stared about her at the melee in confusion. Never had she seen so many people in one place at one time, all shouting and hugging each other. But Harry simply set a hand on her arm and smiled reassuringly.

"Come on," he whispered, "I want to introduce my new wife to my family."

Harry's mother was a small woman with a traditional Chinese upbringing. Which meant that instead of racing over to the son she hadn't seen in five years, she waited until he came to her and placed a light peck on her cheek.

"And who is this, Harry? Is this someone special to you? She is very beautiful."

Seven felt a flush rise to her face under the woman's intense scrutiny. "I am his wife. My designation is Seven Kim, better known to my husband as One of Two. Very soon to be One of Three."

"Let me explain, Mom. Seven was assimilated by the Borg at the age of six. We rescued her from the Collective, but it's taken her awhile to reintegrate with the Human Collective. Hence, the occasional Borg humor." 

But instead of dwelling on the fact that her son had married a Borg, her wrinkled face blossomed into a blissful grin. "Le-wa,"She called to her husband. "I have good news. Our son has married and made us grandparents."

The final reunion was a mixture of sweetness and consternation. Chakotay knew he might as well get it over with. After all, Nayib and Beyvhal had come all the way from Dorvan V to greet him. Explaining Thomasina to them was not going to be easy, but it had to be done.

"Hello, brothers. My eyes see with joy, for they behold familiar faces."

His brothers smiled at the traditional Navajo greeting. "I see you have found yourself a squaw, Little Brother."

"Yes,"Chakotay grinned proudly down at his wife, "I have. I wouldn't call her a squaw to her face, however. Thomasina has a bit of a temper."

Nayib took his brother aside. "Are you sure this was wise, Chakotay? This one is very young, and belegaana besides. Some might think you were a pedophile."

Chakotay winced. "Great spirits, Nayib, she's not that young. And she's older in experience than she is in years. Trust me, I know whereof I speak."

"I trust you, brother. But if I hear that you've hurt this young one, I may have to hunt you down." Nayib softened the warning with a sly smirk . "Although I think I should worry more about her hurting you."

With Nayib's laughter ringing in his ears, he rejoined his friends. 

"Are we ready?" Diane asked.

There were nods all around. The crew of Voyager strolled into the sunset-colored horizon and into their new lives.

Finis.

Well, there it is, folks. I know there's a C/P story dying to be written from the teasers in here. I'll get to it as soon as I've finished my other work-in-progress. Again, comments(even flames, as long as they don't burn my mailbox up) go to DianaQ74@hotmail.com


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